Beating the odds
by islandgirl33
Summary: Away from Seattle, at a medical conference, with his work colleagues, Alex, bumps in to his ex-wife. Fully recovered from her cancer, Izzie has written a book telling her story. Causing Alex, to confront the feelings, that never really went away! Izzie/Alex reunion! Izzie/Mer/Cristina friendship!
1. Chapter 1

Beating the odds

**As it looks like we aren't going to have a perfect Alex/Izzie reunion on Greys now. I thought I'd write my own crazy version of them getting back together and just what happened to Izzie when she left. Just a bit of fun. Hope you enjoy. Oh and this is just the beginning of the story! Please let me know what you think. I do not own any of these characters.**

**Chapter 1 - Alex**

_People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life._

Making his way through the crowded room, a glass of champagne in his hand, Alex felt tired. He was tired from the short flight down to San Francisco, tired of the 24 hour shift he had completed the day before, tired of the feeling of helplessness as he looked on at the life support machine of another new born, tired of another meaningless one night stand and most of all just tired of life and of being alone.

As he looked around him at the groups of people talking earnestly in dinner jackets and designer dresses, he couldn't argue the venue was quite something. Floor to ceiling glass walls, with breath-taking panoramic views across the city landscape, large crystal chandeliers lighting the room perfectly, urban chic wooden flooring and stunning large flowers and candles flickering seductively on tables and trays of vintage champagne passed around freely. It was an impressive place. It was somehow lost on him though, as Alex had never been a big fan of showy medical conferences, seeing them as being a superficial and necessary evil of his chosen career path. He wasn't interested in showcasing his career and he had never been bothered about being published, that wasn't why he had wanted to go in to medicine. These events were far more suited to Shepherd and his hair, or Sloan and his confident smarmy smile.

Alex had, had to attend this one, as it was a key networking event for the residents and could pave the way for some exciting new opportunities after their boards. Plus, he didn't want to fall behind his fellow residents and Yang had been harping on about this one for weeks. He had travelled to it with most of his fellow residents and a few of the attendings that the hospital could spare. Miranda Bailey, Callie Torres, Owen Hunt, Mark Sloan and Derek Shepherd.

Alex had not been in the best of moods at the airport to say the least, barely exchanging a civil word with anyone, apart from returning a sympathetic smile from Meredith. She was his closet friend and despite everything the one person he knew he could count on no matter what shit life threw at him.

The conference was taking shape predictably Alex thought, as looking handsome in his suit he scoured the glamorous room looking for a familiar face to make it slightly more bearable, really just wanting to hide away in his hotel room with a cold beer. It was then that he spotted Derek Shepherd, he would have known that hair anywhere. Shepherd was talking to a tall handsome guy in his mid fourties, he had silver hair that reminded Alex of George Clooney, he was wearing a very expensive watch and it looked like he had had some serious dental work.

"Dr Karev, meet Dr Peter Hayes from LA, he is one of the finest surgeons in the country" Shepherd said, as he added to Dr Hayes."Dr Karev, is one of Seattle Grace's most promising residents"

"Really, well very pleased to meet you Dr Karev" the older man said, extending his hand to Alex, before abruptly turning his head and saying "Talking of fine residents, here she is." Beaming proudly, as he caught the arm of tall blonde, walking past him. "Our very own medical miracle."

Alex looked up, took a double take and nearly choked on his champagne, when he saw who it was. He would have recognised her anywhere, but she was the last person he was expecting to see here. It was Izzie, his ex-wife, the love of his life. Alex's jaw dropped, Izzie looked fantastic, the picture of health. Her hair was longer and lighter than it had been, shining in the artificial light, her skin had a healthy sun kissed glow and her eyes were sparkling. She had put on a few pounds and her curvy figure looked amazing in a tight cream dress with killer heels, she looked perfect, but then to Alex she had never looked anything but perfect, even when she had been dying of cancer.

"Allow me to introduce Dr Isobel Stevens" Dr Hayes said, totally oblivious to the connection and significance that Dr Stevens held to both the men before her. Izzie's beautiful face looked just as shocked, as she took in the two men. "Dr Shepherd, Dr Karev" she said, looking as if she wanted nothing more than to fling her arms around them both and sob, but knowing she must remain strictly professional.

"Dr Stevens, look at you" Shepherd said, leaning in to kiss her. He looked overwhelmed and happy like a proud father, as he took in the full picture of her health. Alex could have almost sworn he could see his eyes moisten slightly. Izzie would always have a special place in Derek Shepherd's heart, for not only had she been one of his wife's best friends, to whom they had donated their wedding, but she had also restored his faith in medicine when he had saved her life. It had made him realize that despite everything, every mistake he made, he had a unique gift that could change peoples lives.

"You know each other?" Izzie's new boss said curiously, as he took in the scene before him.

"Know each other, this man saved my life" Izzie replied, her eyes glowing at Shepard, the emotion clearly coming through in her voice.

"Of course, you were at Seattle Grace, well it all makes sense. I have to hand it to you Shepherd, you did an amazing thing in saving Dr Stevens here, she has turned in to quite some surgeon. I guess Seattle's loss was our gain." Dr Hayes said, as then at that exact moment he was suddenly approached by another colleague eager to speak to him and he turned his back with a swift but polite "If you'll excuse me, I'll catch you later Dr Shepherd."

This left the three of them standing drinks in hand, in the middle of the large glitzy room. Derek pursed his lips together, sensing the tension and looked to make his excuses. "Come and find me later Izzie. I know Meredith would love to see you" he said, as he swooped in and kissed her on the cheek.

Izzie looked saddened at the mention of her old friend Meredith. They had parted on bad terms and there was nothing she wanted more than to see her again. "Mer's here. That's amazing, please tell her I can't wait to see her" she said, as Shepherd smiled warmly, before he swiftly walked away, presumably to find his young wife and make sure she wasn't being led astray by her best friend Cristina Yang and taking too much advantage of the free Bellini's at the bar.

This left Alex alone with his ex-wife. He was still in shock at seeing her here, looking this perfect and this alive and with some famous surgeon none the less. He had given up hope that he would ever see her again; and he had tried to convince himself that she was okay, that she was doing well without him, but deep down he had feared for the worst, and with each day that had passed after she had left, it had become apparent that his life was getting emptier and emptier, and that telling her to go had been the biggest mistake of his life. But she looked so beautiful here, so glamorous, and as she stood next to him the familiar sexual tension and chemistry between them, was still very much apparent. They could both feel it buzzing round them, as she leant in to him and said "Alex, it's so good to see you."

Smiling, Alex replied "You look great Iz. I am so glad things are working out for you." He had, honestly grown up a lot since they had parted and he didn't want to be bitter, he was pleased she had found success, just sad that it wasn't with him by her side as he had always planned, but he knew that he only had himself to blame for that. He had sent her away in a moment of bitterness and anger, at the hurt she had caused him, but if he was honest he had never really meant it.

"Well, it took a long time, but yes, you know, I finally feel healed now. I finally feel I'm back on track and where I should be"

There were a million and one questions Alex wanted to ask her then. What the hell was she doing in LA? What had happened to Tacoma? What was she specialising in? Had she scrubbed in on her first solo surgery? But most of all, he wanted to ask her how her health had really been, he would never forgive himself if she had got sick again and he hadn't been there by her side, and he wanted to ask if she was seeing anyone and if, just maybe, she still loved him? Because seeing her here now, looking breathtakingly beautiful and back to her old self, Alex knew that he sure as hell still loved her, he knew he always would.

"You look great too Alex. I bet you're doing really well now. I always knew you would." Izzie said happily, as Alex noticed his glass was empty and thought it was a good excuse to get away from the noisy crowded room.

"You want to go and get a drink at the bar?" he said hopefully over the hum of busy conversation, he wanted to catch up properly.

Izzie paused, her expression becoming slightly apprehensive, she wanted to say something, but wasn't quite sure how to go about it.

Alex just looked at her expectantly. "Listen Alex, I'm really glad you're here, I actually really hoped I'd bump in to you. I can't stay and talk now but I'm giving a talk here later this evening. It's a really long story" her cheeks flushing, as she continued. "But these past two years, I've been working with Dr Hayes on a new medical technique to help sufferers of advanced cancer like me. It's tapping in to a new technology looking at how we control our brain function. I know it sounds pretty whack, but it's actually very scientific. Dr Hayes is an incredible doctor, and we think it could help a lot of people. It certainly helped me; I would never be where I am today if it wasn't for Dr Hayes. I went to him for help and not only did he cure me, he gave me a job at his hospital and we're doing really well. A publishing company heard about it, well actually Dr Hayes has a lot of contacts in high places. He has been working on this for years and he wants me and my story to face it. So that's why we're here, to promote it. After all, I did beat the odds and I think my story could inspire and help people, at least give them hope."

Alex just stared at her for a minute trying to take in the full effect of what she was saying, the words whirling around his head and making him feel as though he was spinning at a hundred miles an hour. He focused on her beautiful face again "Please, say you'll be there…. at my talk it's at 8pm in the gallery room"Izzie said, twirling her champagne glass nervously, as she glanced straight in to his almond eyes. The spark between them alighting even further.

Alex could tell that this was a big deal to her and it had taken a lot for her to ask him. He had to be there and not only that, he really wanted to spend more time with her, and he had a strong sense that she wanted to spend more time with him too. Just being in her presence, had awoken something up inside him, something that had been dormant for a long time, a deep desire and sweet flashes of her soft skin wrapped around his were taking over his thought processes, as he said."Yeah, of course I'll be there."

Izzie's face lit up, as it has done so many times before at little things he'd said. But that was then and this was now, and they stood here together practically as strangers, he thought remorsefully, as she said. "Ok, great well I have to go now, but maybe we could get a drink after. It's so good to see you"

She then leant in and kissed him, and it was as though time stood still, just for a few seconds and all the shit from the past few years hadn't happened. Her cancer, her leaving, their divorce, him getting shot. It was as though, they had turned back the clock. He looked back at her then, unsure of what to say in response, what the right thing to say would be. He wanted more than anything to hug her, to tell her how much he had missed her, how much he regretted sending her away and to fling her back and kiss her with the furious passion and intensity of that first kiss all those years ago in Joes. But instead, he just looked at her and said "It's great to see you too Iz."

Turning to walk away, she glanced back to flash him a lasting bright smile, saying gently "I've really missed you Alex."

Alex fliched, those words did things to him, that he didn't think possible. To hear her say that, after all this time. He'd never loved a woman before her and he loved her with everything he had in him; she changed him in ways he'd never imagined and with those words it was as though all the worry, stress, and loneliness of the past few years, had been washed away and replaced with a new hopeful excitement.

As he made his way to the bar feeling a mixture of nervous excitement and anxiety, partly enhanced by the alcohol. Alex spotted a familiar crowd, his friends Meredith and Cristina with Shepherd, Hunt, Torres, Bailey and Sloan all stood chatting in a group laughing merrily with drinks in their hands.

"Karev" Bailey called out, she still had that stern but motherly tone that made him feel like a naughty fifteen year old boy. "Come join the party."

Alex could tell that Bailey was on her third or fourth champagne, as she put a protective arm around his neck, saying "How's my fifth baby?" It was rare for Bailey to let her hair down like this he thought, with an amused look at the others.

He was barely following the conversation though, as thoughts of Izzie were going through his head. Her long blonde hair, those eyes and that dress. She was alive and she was here! But most of all he thought about the way she had looked at him as she had walked away. It had been two years and it had made him realize, he hadn't moved on at all, seeing her even for that brief moment hade made him realize he still loved and needed her as much as ever and he felt as though maybe, just maybe he had been given another chance. But he didn't want to get too carried away, he was Alex Karev and he didn't do well with second chances and talking about feelings, so what the hell was he going to do?

With that thought snippets of the conversation were coming and going, it was mainly Sloan doing the talking as usual, beer in hand grinning as he rambled on about one of his old interns from New York and how he was here at the conference and had been working in California as a plastic surgeon to the stars. Alex really didn't want to hear it, that was the path he thought he would have taken had it not been for Izzie making him realize who he really was. He used to idolise Mark Sloan, now he just pitied him, as he knew deep down, Sloan was just as lonely as he was, only a few years on. No amount of showing off would disguise that fact.

"Yeah, Spencer Jones is his name, he certainly did well learning from the me the master, you met him once Torres remember?"

"Oh, yes, he is way hot, he is like godly perfection, he's enough to turn me back to men….." Callie gushed.

Sloan quickly cut her off, as he said. "Hey Spence, come and meet some colleagues" As a tall muscular guy in an expensive suit walked over, he was tanned with light brown hair swept over his face, piercing blue eyes and handsome chiselled features, he looked like a movie star. Alex could instantly see Torres, Yang and Grey all checking him out, giggling nervously like school girl's as they stood next to Sloan. Alex didn't really pay that much attention though, as Sloan introduced Spencer to the group. Alex just thought, Spencer seemed surprisingly cool and down to earth and not the arrogant, plastics guy that he had presumed he would be. But he still had an air of confidence, that got Alex's back up slightly.

"So, you guys are from Seattle Grace right?" Spencer said, sounding genuinely interested, the conversation continued as Sloan went on to say "Well, I hear you've finally been tamed by a lady Spence…." As Alex then drowned the sound of their voice's out, as he checked his watch. He knew exactly where he wanted to be by 8'o clock and all thoughts of Sloan's old intern, were replaced with anticipation at Izzie's speech and seeing her again.

As the group slowly broke up, Alex found himself cornered by a slightly drunk Meredith and Cristina, the twisted sisters he thought, feeling more relaxed now not having to be polite to famous surgeons and old buddies of Sloan. They were trying to drag Alex in to a discussion about the merits of being a good wife versus surgeon again and it was getting slightly old Alex thought. He was pleased that his friends were both happily married now, but it didn't stop him feeling slightly jealous and resentful. Where was his happy ending? Plus the fact that he knew, they slightly pitied him, made him feel uncomfortable.

Suddenly, the conversation became a lot more interesting. "Hey, did you know Izzie is here and she's been working in LA?" Meredith said.

"I know bitch!" Cristina piped in, in true Cristina Yang fashion. "She gets to work with one of the top surgeons in the country and she got fired!"

Alex felt suddenly defensive of his ex-wife, but he couldn't help but notice Cristina's tone it was kind of playful, and she hadn't sounded surprised at all. What had she known that she hadn't let on these past couple of years he wondered?

Meredith then went on to say. "We spoke briefly, but we didn't really have time to catch up properly. She seems really well and just back to her old self, she's giving some sort of speech later about surviving cancer" this time directing it more towards Alex, as her eyes looked hopefully at him, waiting for him to respond.

Alex thought he could make some wise crack, but he knew his friends knew him too well, so he just shrugged and said "Yeah I know, I saw her too"

"You are coming to her speech aren't you Alex? I know it would mean the world to her." Meredith then said, her eyes pleading slightly as she looked at him. Aex hated the fact that Meredith knew his biggest weakness and how much he still loved Izzie. It was written all over her face.

Trying to play it down, Alex then just said casually. "Yeah, I said I'd be there."

Cristina took a sip of her Cosmo then, before remarking "Let's just hope it's not some airy fairy self-discovery crap".

"Cristina!" Meredith exclaimed, before giggling. The conversation then swiftly went back to if Derek would feel threatened, if Meredith chose to follow him in to Nureo.

Alex wasn't sure if they even noticed when he walked off, as he walked casually across the room. Allowing himself to feel almost happy and at the very least hopeful. He wasn't quite sure what it meant that Izzie was here, he'd thought about seeing her pretty much every day since she had left, but now he just felt relieved that she was ok and slightly overwhelmed with the rush of emotion she had stirred in him.

He then froze, as at that exact point, he heard her familiar laugh and glanced over to see her stood over by the entrance door to the room. She was stood closely, in fact far too closely, next to Spencer Jones, the old intern of Mark Sloan's, the hotshot plastic surgeon down in California. California! LA! It suddenly hit Alex, he must work at the same hospital as Izzie. No wonder he seemed so interested in her old colleagues earlier, he must be involved with her, judging from the scene Alex saw before him. He felt himself burning up more and more as he witnessed them talking and laughing together. Spencer was leant down whispering something in her ear his hand on her waist, as her face beamed up at him and she laughed in that same flirty, giggly way she had laughed with Alex, when they had both been new interns starting out at Seattle Grace. The scene made Alex sick, he wanted to go over and lamp one on the guy.

"You're such an ass" he heard Izzie exclaim to Spencer laughing as they contineud to flirt. Again it was exactly reminiscent of the two of them years ago, joking around with that twinkle in their eye, knowing that what they wanted was actually far more than just a playful flirt.

They looked hot together, Spencer with his perfect movie star looks and designer suit, Izzie with her hot dress, showing off her curves and her long blonde hair and beautiful face. So, that was what Sloan was referring to earlier, when he had been winding his old colleague up about a new lady, Alex thoight. Izzie was enough to tame any man's wild ways, he should know. He'd had her and he had let her go.

Alex had tried not to think of Izzie with another man, over the years. The thought was just too much for him to bear. But now it was here, in his face he felt overwhelmingly jealous.

Later on, as Alex took his drink away from the bar, the familiar old look of hurt and anger crept in to his eyes, it was nearly 8pm. Izzie would be starting her speech shortly, he had to get away. He didn't think he could take hearing about her success and her perfect new life with that loser buddy of Sloan's.

He turned to walk away and past the entrance to the gallery, when by complete chance, who should he bump in to but the Chief Richard Webber. Damn it, what was he doing here? ALex thought.

"Karev, you coming in for Dr Stevens talk? I've just flown all the way down from Seattle to hear it. We're all in there, front row, Yang, Grey, Shepherd, Sloan, Bailey. You coming?"

Alex was lost for words he couldn't lose face and say no to the chief, but he just didn't think he could handle it. What the hell was he supposed to do?

He peered in to the room and saw Meredith "Alex, we saved you a seat" she waved over.

Alex also saw that Callie Torres was sat there in there too and he thought how, if she could bring herself to be there, after Izzie had broken up her marriage, he didn't really have any excuses himself, as he muttered a quick "Sure" at the chief and made his way over to Meredith.

Sitting down, Alex thought, the room looked pretty full with a lot of important people. Izzie had played it down. As he spooted her, standing at the front. Izzie had never looked more radiant, he thought. She had certainly got her model figure back, as Alex heard some young interns behind him, discussing just every aspect of her perfect anatomy. "Dr Model" It was all he could do to restrain himself from turning round and beating the crap out of each one of them, that was his ex wife they were talking about and the mood he was in, that would have been very easy. But then the young interns behind him suddenly became completely insignificant, as he saw Dr Spencer Jones sat at the side next to the silver fox Dr Hayes, both looking over proudly at Izzie.

Alex swallowed, had told Izzie to go off and be happy without him. But why did it have to hurt so much to finally see it? He clenched his fists as Meredith turned to him protectively and whispered "You ok?"

Alex ignored her and just looked front, without saying a word. He vowed to himself after tonight that was it, he would never see her or speak to Izzie again. He was done! Just as he looked up to see a large screen with the bold title.

"**Beating the odds - My journey to survive the battle of a life time." by Dr Isobel Stevens.**

Things were about to get very messy he thought, but he hadn't anticipated just quite how messy and emotional they would get and he certainly hadn't been prepared for just how the evening would actually pan out.

_A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave._

7


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – Izzie**

"_I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love."_

As the lights dimmed and the upbeat music that had been playing was turned down, Izzie turned to look in to the sea of faces in front of her.

She was shaking slightly, a little from nerves. But mainly because she was so excited and very overwhelmed to be telling her story and making it that extra bit special was having her old colleagues from Seattle there, to hear it too.

Her friends, Meredith, Cristina, Derek, Bailey, even the Chief Richard Webber. They had all been there from the beginning, and they still meant a lot to Izzie. But what was making it really incredible and had given Izzie the courage to stand up and give it her all, was Alex being there. Alex, was Izzie's ex-husband and had also been the love of her life. Despite their ups and downs over the years back in Seattle. No man, had ever made Izzie feel like Alex had and she still, even now, missed him like _crazy_.

Izzie had so desperately wanted Alex to be there to hear her speech. She had thought about nothing else the entire flight up, her friends and colleagues mistaking her unusually quiet and thoughtful mood for nerves. Izzie was normally so bright and bubbly.

Izzie had wanted to call Alex for weeks, even going so far as to pick up her phone many times over, with shaking fingers scrolling down to find his old number. But, somehow, never seeming to quite find the courage to ever press 'call'. Even, after several glasses of wine blurring her judgement. Izzie just didn't know what she would say to Alex, or how he would react. She wouldn't have been able to bear it, if Alex hadn't have wanted to speak to her, or worse still, if he had moved on. That thought was unbearable and what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her, or so Izzie had tried to convince herself many times over.

So, instead Izzie had settled on telling her old friend Cristina Yang, and Cristina had promised to do her very best to get as many of Izzie's old colleagues to the conference as possible. Cristina had said if Derek was going, then Meredith wouldn't be a problem, but she couldn't say for sure about evil spawn, because he had been a bit unpredictable recently. Izzie had been apprehensive at first, as to what Cristina had meant by 'unpredictable'. But then she had laughed to herself, that Cristina even now, still referred to Alex as evil spawn.

Cristina, had been the one person that had never judged Izzie and had also kept in touch with her when Izzie had left Seattle. Cristina, had also been the person that Izzie had turned to, when she had first learned about her cancer, and if it hadn't been for Cristina's determination, Izzie would never have sought treatment and be living to tell the tale now.

They hadn't kept in regular touch, but when they had, it was as though they had only been with each other yesterday. It was ironic, Izzie thought, as she had always presumed Cristina had disliked her. But, after a few heart to hearts, it had turned out that it had simply been the case, that at first Cristina just hadn't understood Izzie. The two women being so different, Cristina was from a privileged background, had no interest in hair, make up or animal rights. Izzie on the other hand, grew up in a trailer park, looked like a beauty queen and also had to model underwear to pay for her education. As well, as the fact, that Cristina was dark and twisty and full of wise cracks and Izzie was bright and shiny and only ever saw the good in people.

The two were from different worlds. But somehow, they had formed a strong solid friendship, to rival even Cristina's friendship with Meredith at times. Cristina admired Izzie's gutsy, no nonsense attitude and also her big heart and good way with patients and Izzie admired Cristina's outstanding surgical skill and sheer determination and belief in her chosen career path. It had been Izzie, that Cristina had called at first when she had been having her marriage problems with Owen, feeling distanced from Meredith after she had just adopted a baby, with her husband Derek Shepherd. But most importantly, it had been Cristina, that had given Izzie the push that she had needed to start again and go and find Dr Hayes in LA for more treatment and a new start.

Izzie had never liked to ask Cristina too much about Alex, partly from not wanting to put Cristina in an awkward position. But mainly, if she was completely honest, not wanting to hear what Alex had been doing without her and she knew Cristina was always brutally honest and told it 'like it was'.

When they had met up after the shootings, when Cristina had needed to get out of Seattle, Cristina had told Izzie about Alex being with Lexie. It had broken Izzie's heart, that Alex had moved on so quickly, and that had been the main reason, she had stayed away when she'd also heard, Alex had been shot. Cristina had been sure to drop Izzie a long email shortly after though, about a new heart transplant she had scrubbed in on, adding a hurried couple of lines at the bottom about how Lexie had freaked out and Alex had walked away from her, ending their brief fling. Izzie had thought then, about contacting Alex, but she decided against it, as she felt she owed it to him to give him the chance to move on properly. Thinking, he didn't need her messing with his head anymore. Plus, things were also starting to get slightly complicated in her own life then too.

…

Searching desperately in the crowd, Izzie eagerly looked for Alex. She needed to see his soft, brown eyes, meeting hers, reassuring her and giving her his approval. Because in a way, Izzie's story was as much about Alex as it was her, Izzie thought, and she wanted him to know that.

When Izzie couldn't see Alex, she glanced over at her work colleague, Spencer, sitting to the side of her and her heart fluttered slightly, gorgeous, kind, handsome, Dr Spencer Jones. Spencer, had been one of the first people Izzie had met when she'd first arrived, full of nerves in LA, her confidence in shatters. Izzie had been taken a back a bit at first, at how perfect Spencer was and just how much she was attracted to him. Spencer, had actually been shirtless when she'd first bumped in to him by mistake, getting out of the elevator searching for Dr Hayes office.

Spencer had been always been so polite and funny, the perfect gentleman and as she got to know him better, Izzie had surprised herself, that she could actually have feelings for someone else, after her heart breaking split from Alex. Spencer wasn't in the least bit complicated or damaged, just what Izzie had needed. Izzie was also surprised to find out Spencer was a top rated plastic surgeon, he was so charming and down to earth and not in the least bit arrogant.

They had started off as friends at first. Izzie hadn't been ready for anything else. But as their friendship, had slowly blossomed in to something a little more, Spencer had helped sooth the searing pain, that Izzie had felt, every single day, since Alex had ended their relationship and told her to leave Seattle and not come back. When Izzie had finally realized, that she had lost Alex for good.

With Spencer, Izzie had learned to laugh again and to enjoy the little things, such as lazy Sunday's, watching a good film, going out for a nice meal, tequila fuelled nights out and long walks along the beach in the glorious, California sunshine. As well, as of course, the incredible path to becoming a good surgeon.

But, despite all this, Izzie still thought about Alex, _all the time_! About what could have been. But what was she supposed to do? She had to keep telling herself. Put what little of her life, she could have left on hold, to wait for Alex to finally come after her, when it was becoming more and more apparent, that was never going to happen.

Izzie had known things weren't quite right with Spencer the first night she'd slept with him. It was the first time, she had slept with anyone, since Alex and it wasn't that the sex hadn't been incredible. Spencer was so hot, how could it have been anything else. But as Spencer had held her in his arms afterwards, as they both lay in the dark, Izzie couldn't help the flow of silent tears, falling down her cheeks. Spencer was great, amazing even, but he wasn't the man she was still, so madly in love with, he wasn't _Alex,_ and it had made Izzie said to think that she would never be able to move on.

When Spencer had started hinting about rings and moving in together, Izzie had known she had to break it off, it wasn't fair. Izzie had been honest and had told him, they were moving too quickly and that it was just too soon after her divorce to get serious. Spencer had taken it surprisingly well, and had agreed to take things really slow and go back to being just friends. Izzie didn't feel too guilty, she knew Spencer would bounce back. He had women throwing themselves at him every day. Plus, it had actually made their friendship stronger, although he did try his luck with Izzie, every now and again and Izzie was ashamed to admit that at times, she had been more than tempted to give in, thinking she was only human after all and Spencer was gorgeous.

…..

As she tentatively, twisted her hands together on the stage, waiting to start her speech. Izzie reminded herself, how she had found success now. She was no longer the scared, confused and unhappy person that had lost everything.

With the support of both Spencer and Dr Hayes, Izzie had finally found the courage to become a doctor again and put her demons to rest once and for all. Despite, her troubles back in Seattle, she had fought to become a surgeon her whole life and she wasn't going to let a few setbacks stop her. When Dr Hayes had asked Izzie to work with him on his new treatment of advanced cancer patients, and front her own book, it had given Izzie a whole new lease of life. Writing her story, had made her realize, that even without Alex, she still had _everything_ to live for.

Therefore when Dr Hayes had asked her to give this speech, Izzie had accepted without hesitating. But, finally standing in front of a room full of fellow medical professionals, Izzie suddenly felt very overwhelmed, as she cleared her throat and began.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

_**Just because I'm losing doesn't mean I'm lost.**_

**Beating the odds – My journey to survive the battle of a life time. By Dr Isobel Stevens**.

Standing at the front of the room, Izzie leaned forward slowly in to the microphone in front of her. She was fully aware, that all eyes in the room were placed firmly on her. Including, those of all her old colleagues from Seattle Grace, most of whom she hadn't seen since the day she had left, and not forgetting her ex-husband Alex Karev.

Alex, was shifting awkwardly in his seat, unsure of what was about to come, as Izzie began:

_Good evening, my name is Dr Isobel Stevens. _

_I am here tonight, to talk to you about my story, which is outlined in a new book co-written with Dr Peter Hayes, introducing a new medical phenomenon 'The Hayes Method'. That I can honestly say helped me rebuild my life and find my way through an incredible and heart breaking journey. Not only surviving a deadly disease, but also re-assessing and re-gaining my life ,after my whole world came crashing down around me._

_Sometimes, you don't realise the biggest days of your life, not until your right in the middle of them, the days you commit to something or someone. The days you get you get your heart broken, the days you meet your soul mate, the days you realize there's not enough time, because you want to live forever. Those are the biggest days, the most perfect days_

_I will start my story, by giving you an overview of my background and personal journey. My journey has been a painful one, where I experienced some great things, made some wonderful friends and also made some mistakes, some big mistakes and I suffered the consequences and I hurt some good people. I lost some good people, some great people._

At that point Alex turned his head sideways and glanced at his colleagues Meredith and Cristina. They both looked full of emotion and he couldn't help but notice that also Callie Torres was listening intently. Izzie had made a mistake in hurting Callie alright, but Alex knew Izzie had never meant to hurt Callie deliberately. Alex also knew, deep down, that Izzie had never meant to cause him the deep pain that he had felt after she had left either.

_If I could travel back in time now and speak to my younger self, there are plenty of things that I would like to say. Firstly, I'd like to slap myself around the face a few times. I was head strong, stubborn and didn't listen. But I was also furiously passionate, determined and full of hope for the future and all its many possibilities. So, mostly I'd like to say to myself, don't give up when times are tough, don't lose faith in the little things that you most strongly believe in, whatever happens and whatever life throws at you. _

_I didn't come from a great background, I didn't have a family that could support me and I didn't have an education to be proud of. But, I did have a great Mom and all the love in the world and a fantastic science teacher that inspired me and showed me that even I Isobel Stevens, the girl from the trailer park with the second hand clothes and cheap shoes, could make it to be a surgeon if I put my mind to it. But it wasn't easy, I had to model underwear to pay for my education and was judged constantly along the way. Whenever I walked in to an OR everyone presumed I was the nurse._

_It was Mr Spiller, my old high school science teacher that I ran to when I thought I had lost my career and everything that I held so dear. Ironically, I was right back where I had started, back in my old town, unsure of the future and receiving advice from kind old 'Mr Spiller', and do you know what he said to me? As I ashamedly told him everything that had happened, how I had been fired and lost my way. Mr Spiller simply looked at me and said "But Isobel, you're still a doctor aren't you?."_

_With those words, I knew he was right and it was as though he had unlocked something. That same fear, that he'd unlocked years ago, when I was a young girl. The fear, that had been holding me back and it was at that exact point, that I knew I had to fight, fight to find myself again. I had no choice. _

_I was always seen as a bright yellow, my whole life I was descried as bright and shiny, a little ray of sunshine, lighting up the dreary lives of the people around me. I always saw the good in people and tried to remain positive, no matter what. I fought for people that didn't have anything, which is why I wanted to become a doctor to help people and that is why I also donated eight million dollars to open a clinic, to fight for people who had no-one else. I was happy and fulfilled and was on a path I'd been planning my whole life. But then some terrible things happened to me, which changed the game completely. I got sick, I lost people and I felt as though I was changed forever. _

_If I am completely honest with myself, I never stopped to think about the people around me enough. I was so wrapped up in what I thought was right. I couldn't see what was right in front of me and that cost me dearly. After my diagnosis, I was in denial, I couldn't face the truth and if I hadn't had been a doctor, I feel sure I would not here today. But, I had the help of some great people. My body was healed through surgery. I had a great surgeon, one of the best the world has ever seen._

Izzie paused and looked over to where Derek Shepherd was sat, to see him looking back at her, with a warm, proud smile on his face. Causing Izzie to well up slightly, as she thought of the miracles that he had performed saving her life.

_He healed my body, cut out the cancer and gave me a second chance at life. But as incredible and miraculous as that may seem, it was just the beginning. I still had a long way to go, to becoming fully healed again._

_As a doctor, I was always told, time and time again, that although I was a promising surgeon, I became far too involved with my patients. I wasn't able to separate my emotions, from the science and it held me back. But, you know what? I stuck to my guns, and I still do, even today. A wise man once said:_

"Body and soul cannot be separated for purposes of treatment. Sick minds must be healed as well as sick bodies."

_I never lost sight of this and I knew that deep down, I couldn't stop caring, couldn't stop seeing the people in front of me as people, someone's father, mother, brother, sister, child and they mattered, people matter. Now, as I continue my personal journey to become a good doctor, that one simple principle will always remain with me, for it is was what got me thought the darkness and in to the light. People matter and I pushed my people away. _

_I am aware, that I was extremely fortunate, but even though the poisonous disease infested inside me was shrinking and my health was slowly returning, my hair was growing back and my strength increasing daily. My mind, my soul was still very much sick, my confidence shattered, my belief in all things good vanishing daily. The world was not how I had viewed it before. I was far from being healed! _

_I knew that I needed to find myself again and I needed help in which to do this, which is what brought me to seek out Dr Peter Hayes, who taught me that the human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it, and it can be controlled. If you are going through hell, keep going_

At this point, the entire room was silent, each person listening intently to every word Izzie was saying. It had certainly struck a chord with her old colleagues from Seattle and they were all sat pondering their own thoughts, their own versions of how Izzie's journey had affected their lives personally. Had they done enough? Had they done too much? Had they really understood? Had they avoider her? Or had they simply judged her?

Izzie then went on to the give the main bulk of her talk and to introduce the treatment she had received from Dr Peter Hayes, giving step by step accounts of how it had affected her personally. Confidently referring to glossy slides flashing up on the large screen in front of her, ahe sounded knowledgeable and professional, but was also sure to glance over at her boss for reassurance every now and again. By the end, everyone was impressed; it was a great speech and had certainly opened their minds to alternative ways of thinking about their profession. Izzie looked in to the crowd with lasting, crystal clear passion and emotion ringing through in her voice, as she said defiantly:

_I'm grateful now for every new, healthy day I have. It has helped me prioritize my life and has taught me never, never give up!_

_Finally, as I am stood here today on my way to becoming a half decent surgeon. I would like to dedicate our book and the story of my journey to my dear friend Cristina Yang. For without her, I would not be standing here in front of you. Cristina's determination, gave me the courage to fight for my life and she never stopped believing in me, even when I had stopped believing in myself. Cristina taught me, that wherever life take's you, you never stop carrying the fire! _

Alex turned to look at Cristina, who was looking to the front, trying to remain her usual robotic, controlled self. But he couldn't mistake the silent tears, falling slowly down her cheeks.

_**Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.**_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_**The ones that you love the most are usually the ones that hurt you the most.**_

After the speech had finished, there were a few questions asked, before the room casually started to mill out.

Izzie, stood by the entrance, chatting to Dr Hayes and a couple of her other colleagues as various people came over to introduce themselves, congratulate her, or ask further questions.

Amongst those people was, Richard Webber the Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace. "Dr Stevens, I came down especially to hear your speech and I wasn't disappointed. I always knew you'd be ok and would find your way to become a great surgeon". Izzie smiled warmly at him, she used to be a bit apprehensive of the Chief, she'd felt at times he favoured her friends, Meredith and Cristina. But, over her internship and residency, he had shown himself to be a very honourable and compassionate man and he had also seen something in Izzie, that perhaps she hadn't seen herself at the time. Hell, she had screwed up more times than she cared to remember and why else would he have taken her back after the Denny fiasco. Firing her, after her cancer, had been a very tough decision for Webber, but deep down, Izzie knew now, that he had made the right one. She should never have been back at work, it had been irresponsible and foolish, and seeing Dr Webber here now, filled her with joy, as though he was a long lost, favourite uncle.

"We're all having some drinks at the piano bar, it would be great if you came to join us" Webber said to Izzie, with a twinkle in his eye.

"I'd love too" Izzie beamed back.

At that point, Meredith and Cristina walked up to Izzie, both giving her heart felt hugs. They had all grown up so much since they had first met years ago, but it was clear, their incredible and terrifying experiences together, would bond them forever.

"You did great Iz." Meredith said and Izzie knew, there was absolutely no bad feeling festering, for the harsh way she had left Meredith, when she had fled Seattle.

Cristina, didn't really 'do hugs', so she didn't need to say anything more, after she had hugged Izzie.

Izzie was a little overcome with emotion, after all, these were the people she had considered her family for years. Despite, how wonderful it was to see them, she couldn't help but notice though, that there was no Alex. _Hadn't he been sat with them? Where was he?_ Izzie wanted to see him more than anything, to hug him, to ask him what he had thought, it was taking the shine out of the moment and the old familiar feeling, of nervous butterflies, mixed with anxious tension, crept back in to her, as she scoured the room looking for Alex.

Meredith seemed to get it too, saying gently "Alex, had to take off Iz" Her face indicating, that she was very aware, this was not what her old friend wanted to hear.

"Oh, ok" Izzie replied, putting on a fake smile, whilst everything in her head was screaming "_no!"_ _Was it her speech? Had she gone too far? Was he just being nice to her earlier_? _Was he with someone else, or was he just simply not interested in catching up? _

No, that didn't make any sense, Izzie said to herself. That wasn't Alex, not the Alex she knew, the Alex she knew so well and had loved, still loved, even now. Even if he had moved on, he would still have come to say goodbye, they had actually half agreed to get a drink together after all.

As Izzie walked out of the large entrance door, still with Meredith and Cristina, making more small talk. She felt disappointed and a little hurt, but she knew had to pull herself together. She had been so pleased to see Alex earlier on that evening and she had really hoped, that she would get the chance to speak to him properly. There was just so much she had wanted to say, ever since she had left and she had felt like tonight, maybe, she would finally get the chance to do that. He had looked so handsome and he had made her feel that same, familiar, overwhelming and incredible, rush of excitement.

As she was about to give up and make her way to the bar with her old friends, Izzie turned, to see Alex, walking straight towards her. He looked a little surprised to see her with Meredith and Cristina.

"Alex" Izzie immediately said hopefully, a small smile creeping on to her lips.

"Where have you been?" Meredith then said to him, with a slight tone of exasperation.

Alex, had his phone in his hand and waved it at them. "Call from Robbins. I'm needed back at the hospital".

Cristina, rolled her eyes "What, now?"

Meredith grabbed Cristina's arm, sensing Alex and Izzie needed to talk and that there was some, very much, unfinished business brewing. "Come on, Derek and Owen will be waiting for us" Meredith said and they both hurried off, making it glaringly obvious, they were leaving Izzie and Alex alone.

It was Alex that spoke first. "Izzie, you sounded great up there. I had no idea that you had been working on that all this time." His tone, was calm and polite, but slightly distant. Izzie sensed, that something had changed, from the happy, upbeat, pace of the conversation they had, had earlier in the evening and she couldn't work out why.

Izzie just stared at Alex for a second, taking in his words. She was speechless, she had had this conversation in her head, night after night, about how he would react, when he finally found at where she had been, how she was, what she had been doing. What she would say to him, how would she be able to convey, just how much, she had missed him and how her heart still ached for him. How she felt sure, that even now, after everything that had happened to her, he was the _one._

Oh Alex!...' Izzie eventually said, flinging her long, blonde, curls, back over her shoulders, as she leant in and hugged him. He still smelt the same, that wonderful combination of his manly, aftershave, mixed with, well, just _Alex. _The most amazing scent in the world. The scent, that had comforted her, so many times, when she had been in need of it and she had completely taken it for granted. As Izzie took in the full effect, she realized, she couldn't leave him this time, not without a fight.

Alex hugged her back and with that precious gesture, Izzie realized, that he had missed her too, as he held her in his strong arms, standing there in the wide corridor of the large hotel. Right outside the room, Izzie had given her speech in, moments earlier. There were people coming and going, they could hear numerous footsteps and talking and laughing. Izzie didn't care, she felt as though she wanted to hold Alex forever. She felt as though, this, was what was missing, from her new perfect life, _Alex._

Eventually, they broke apart. Izzie turned to look at him. "I have missed you so much. Please don't go, let's go and get a drink together, please. I want us to talk, properly talk. Don't go back tonight Alex."

Alex's handsome face, poured in to Izzie's, their eyes meeting, making it very obvious, they still longed for each other. "I don't have to go back tonight" he said. "They can wait, I can still catch my scheduled flight tomorrow morning. I think it's too late to go back now anyway".

Izzie's face once again lit up. "Well, ok, that's great" she gushed. "Everyone's down in the piano bar, Meredith and Cristina, Webber, Shepherd, Bailey. Oh, and Peter's there too, I mean, Dr Hayes. I'd love for you to meet him properly and some of my colleagues from LA….." At that point, Izzie broke off as she saw his face change slightly, she hadn't meant for them to spend all night, with everyone else, but she must have said the wrong, judging by his changing, darkening, expression. It was at that point, Izzie then felt a familiar hand on the back off her waist. _Spencer._

"Dr Stevens" Spencer said playfully. "You ready, I heard there's an apple martini at the bar with your name one it" Spencer then glanced at Alex, as he nodded and said. "Oh, hey, again."

Great timing, Spence! Izzie, thought to herself. She shifted awkwardly, positioning herself tactfully, away from Spencer, as she said. "You met Alex?"

"Yeah, earlier… Oh, Alex" Spencer said and he looked as though a light bulb. had just been switched on in his perfect face. Izzie hadn't withheld anything. when she had told Spencer, all about her ex-husband Alex, including the part where she wasn't over him. "Well, I guess I'll see you down there then. Good to see you again Alex" Spencer hurriedly said and he couldn't get away fast enough.

Izzie, turned to look at Alex again. He looked extremely awkward and a little sad and she just knew, what was coming. She had seen that look before, once before!

"You know what Iz, I really need to get an early night. I have back to back surgeries stacking up. I need to get on that plane tomorrow. It's been great seeing you again. I am really happy for you, about your job and your new life and it's great your health is so well now. But, I can't….I've moved on a lot since you left and I can't…." he paused. "I think it's best if you just go, go, meet the others and have a great night."

Everything in Izzie was screaming _no, no!_ It was as though everything that had happened, all the good work she had done, recovering, trying to rebuild her life, was slowly erasing, as she felt herself slipping back to that girl again, the girl, sat there, in the residents lounge next to Alex. Her joy, at her clear brain scans, swiftly being replaced, with an overwhelming and consuming, sensation of sadness and disbelief. As the love of her life, told her, he never wanted to see her again. It was happening again, it couldn't. _She couldn't be that girl again._

_**You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

_Sometimes people choose to hold back and watch love walk away not because no love is there but because they are just so afraid of the risk of loving and losing again__._

Alex was walking faster and faster picking up pace as he finally found the elevator and reached for the button, he just wanted out of there and as quickly as humanly possible. He wanted to be back in his luxurious hotel room, his tie and shirt loosened, beer in hand and trashy film on the television. If he was at home maybe he would even have considered picking someone up, someone to try and take away a little of the pain that wast currently crushing his entire body, pain that he'd hoped he'd never have to feel again. He knew that would be a terrible idea though really, no other woman would ever live up to her, and he would think about her the whole time, ultimately feeling emptier and lonelier than ever.

He couldn't quite believe the words that had come out of his mouth. He had told her to go, to go again, to leave him and be happy again. 'Have a great night' were his exact words. Why did he say that when he had convinced himself time and time again that if there was ever the small possibility of a second chance, he would grab it with both hands he would hold on to it with everything he had, he would never let her go again, he'd even called out her name when he lay dying. But it was as though he had no control over the words that came out of his mouth earlier, the jealousy and bitterness he had felt so strongly had completely taken over. He had told her he had grown up and moved on, but had he really? His behaviour mirrored the exact scene he'd created two years ago when he'd told her to leave him, and how many times, how many lonely nights had he longed and agonised to go back in time and swallow his pride and tell her how much she meant to him and that he forgave her and that they could have their happily ever after. But it was different now he tried to tell himself, she wasn't that same person anymore, she had said so herself in her speech, she was stronger, she had come out the other side and found new people, a new man and she was with him now. Spencer Jones a guy he could never compete with, he was rich, successful, tall, handsome, probably had a huge house with a flash car and perfect parents that raised him to treat women properly and to love them the way they deserved. Something that even now Alex himself still struggled to do.

As he reached his floor he slowed down and walked along the long blue and gold carpeted hallway, searching for his room number, there were so many corners and he couldn't remember exactly how to find it, he hadn't paid that much attention earlier. He finally came to it 1806, fumbling in his pocket for his key, he heard a familiar clutter of high heels and felt a waft of sweet perfume hitting him, he looked up just in time to see a slightly wobbly Callie Torres bumping straight in to him. She had clearly had one too many cocktails down at the piano bar he thought irritatingly as he remembered her room was adjacent to his. "Karev" she said. "Thought you were boozing with Sloan" he snapped back partly because he was in a foul mood anyway and taking it out on the nearest person was what he did best, but also because he couldn't help but feel slightly protective over his mentor and good friend Arizona Robbins, Callie's partner. "Yeah I am. I just came up to get my cell to call Arizona and check up on Sofia, hey are you pissed at me?" she said picking up on his tone of voice, her shiny black fringe falling over her perfectly made up eyes. "Nah… just tired" he said wearily back "Is this about Arizona Alex?, Because she is fine with me being here, she is fine about me and Mark and our friendship, I love her but I can't give up my best friend and Marks always been there for me." Alex rolled his eyes, this was really the last thing he needed right now, an emotional outburst from a drunken Torres, frankly he really didn't care. Who was he to judge anyone else's love life when his own was such a mess "Whatever... good night" he said as he slid his room key in to the door. "What?" she said the look of confusion spreading across her pretty face? "Goodnight, what about Stevens? It's her big night isn't it? I thought you would have been down having a drink with her, supporting her like we all are. I mean I know you guys got divorced, but I thought you would still be there for her?" Alex eyed her with a confused look. "Why do you care so much? Why were you even there? I thought she would have been the last person you'd want to support" … Callie looked him straight in the eye "Well because she's Izzie Stevens, she's the girl that I hated with a passion for months, the girl that I felt had destroyed my life, my marriage. I used to wake up every single morning and wish she was dead. But then when I heard she got cancer and probably would die I felt as though it was a moment of truth for me, was I that terrible a person that I would want someone to die for just one mistake? So then I woke up every morning and I prayed, I prayed that she'd live and that she'd get some sort of life back, so I didn't have to feel responsible for wishing such a terrible fate on her" Wow Alex thought to himself she'd really changed since becoming a mother.

"Besides Karev I saw you, saw you both talking earlier there's still a spark there it's apparent. She has feelings for you." Alex felt annoyed again now, she didn't know what the hell she was talking about. "Yeah right she has such feelings for me that she decided to throw it in my face about how loved up she is with that buddy of your friend Sloan's. You know the guy you were drooling all over earlier even though you supposed to be a lesbian now" He knew it was cruel but he couldn't resist that last line, he had to lash out at someone. Luckily she chose to ignore it. "Spencer, what you think she's with Spencer. Do you know where Spencer is right now Alex? He's probably in the back of a cab somewhere with Mark heading straight to Exotic Nights?" Alex looked at her blankly, what Spencer wasn't down with Izzie at the bar. "Exotic Nights Alex, a strip bar, a strip bar where guys go to watch girls dance, single guys!" Alex was still confused but Spencer was with Izzie he thought. Or had they just broken up, had Izzie broken up with him or was that Spencer guy actually just a total ass, because if he was Alex would have no problem with an excuse to kick his ass. Callie continued "And before that he spent the last thirty minutes sat at the bar with me and Mark, telling us how he had been involved with Izzie for a while, he had fallen for her big time and would have married her, but it hadn't worked out, they had argued a lot, she refused to move in with him and she wouldn't commit, wouldn't commit because she couldn't move on from her ex-husband couldn't move on from you!" Alex still couldn't believe it "But she's with him I saw them together here earlier." Callie was getting exasperated now "Was with him, was! past tense. They are most defiantly not together now believe me, I've just heard all about it. He even said he felt certain he would win her back soon, but after her saw the way she looked at you earlier he knew for sure he couldn't compete."Alex just stared at her in disbelief, but he had to admit he hadn't really examined the facts he'd just done what he always did best, jumped to conclusions, made rash decisions and then had to live with the consequences. She'd never actually confirmed she was in a relationship with Spencer.

Callie put one hand against the wall to steady herself, there were things she had wanted to say to Alex for a long time and after four glasses of champagne and three raspberry martinis, there seemed no time like the present. She took a deep breath it wasn't going to be pretty. "You know what Karev I'd always kind of admired you; you were the outsider the guy that people didn't get. You always seemed to lose out, but then when you got with Izzie something seemed to click and you really showed your true colours and what a good man you were, the way you were there for her throughout her cancer, that took a lot and a lot of men would have bottled it. But it was clear that you really loved her and would have done anything for her." Her tone saddened. "Like I loved George…I loved George but I gave up. I mean don't get me wrong I am very happy now and very in love now, but when George died , part of me died too, part of me died because I never told him how I felt, that I forgave him. If I could get a second chance to do that I would take it without hesitating. You and Izzie you got that second chance, you beat the odds you were a one in a million, you were so in love you even married her at the bat of an eyelid, you stole Meredith and Mcdreamy's freeking dream wedding for goodnes sake. You had a chance at a happily ever after that not many people get and you threw it away, yes you both screwed up, she screwed up, but people do, if there's one thing I've learnt no-one's perfect and love comes through. So when I heard you'd sent her away after everything that had happened, you'd thrown that one in a million chance away, I not only thought you were a total ass, but I lost all respect for you." Alex just stared at her but he knew she was right; he had known that for a very long time. "You've already lost two years Alex, don't lose anymore, she's here she's alive, your both alive, she's sat down in that bar right now with a false smile on her face and sad eyes with an empty chair next to her. So go down there and get her and whatever you do don't let her get away this time".

Alex was lost for words as Callie unlocked her door, turning back to him with a lasting "go" and shoo of her hands, before shutting it in his face.

_The greatest mistakes we make are the risks we don't take. If you think something will make you happy, go for it so that you won't live your life asking, "What if?" and telling yourself, "If only."__  
_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

_Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends__._

The bar had a subtle touch of contemporary elegance together with an energetic buzz and seductive soft lighting to compliment the chic leather sofas and perfectly finished glass tables, whilst live piano music enhanced the mood further. Smartly dressed cocktail waiters presented effortless style, shaking up a variety of the most fashionable drinks behind the long wooden bar. It was the place to be, situated at the very top of the five star hotel the large medical conference was being held in.

"Cheers ladies, to happiness, friendship and becoming great surgeons!" Izzie was sat at the bar with her two old friends from Seattle, Meredith Grey and Christina Yang, they were sat over by the window displaying stunning views of the bright lights on the city horizon. The three of them were attracting a fair bit of attention from the male inhabitants as they looked like they'd just stepped out of a glossy magazine, they were made up and glamorous with their hair styled, wearing designer dresses and high heels, a far cry from their usual heavily stained scrubs, sneakers and loosely tied back ponytails. They were oblivious to the attention though as they sat sipping their cocktails and gossiping like old times. Izzie felt so at home with them, she had enjoyed chatting to Bailey earlier and the Chief, he had actually half-heartedly offered her, her old job back which Izzie thought was ironic. But now she was glad she had a chance to catch up with Meredith and Christina properly. She hadn't seen them for so long, Meredith not since she had stormed out of her house two years previously.

She took a sip from her apple martini before saying "I shouldn't' have let him go, I shouldn't have let him walk off like that. I mean I could quite easily have gone after him, stopped him. What am I doing? He is amazing, he's the sweetest guy when you get to know him, he's kind, thoughtful, really funny, and hot." …" really hot!" Christina piped in. Izzie shot her an amused look before continuing. "Yep he's hot, he's a great surgeon, and he's amazing in bed! What am I doing? I mean we were even going to go to Paris and you'd think I'd have gotten used to his godly perfection by now….. but nope!" Meredith smirked "he's McWonderful!" as Izzie sighed "What am I doing?" and Christina cut in "What are you doing? What the hell am I doing? I think I might as well divorce my husband and take up with the guy myself."… "Oh Ignore her "Meredith said, "She's just pissed at Owen, because he told her won't be giving her any special treatment if he becomes chief." Christina turned to her, her mouth open. "I don't want any special treatment. That's the whole point." She pouted as Meredith came back with a "Whatever!""Oh well you should know because you did get special treatment form McDreamy when he was chief, plenty of special treatment" Meredith glared at her "Your just jealous because we still do it every night" Christina scowled "You do not! That is a lie there's no way anyone could work the hours we do and still get down and dirty in the bedroom every night" Meredith giggled "I didn't say it was in the bedroom" Christina shot her a look back "Oh please we are not interns anymore." Izzie couldn't help but smile to herself they seemed so different in so many ways, they had both grown up a lot but when they got together like this, Meredith and Christina just hadn't changed a bit.

With that thought fresh in her head she continued where she had left off. "Ok so I just let him walk off, when he could have given me everything." Meredith fiddled with her hair and took a sip of her margarita "there was a reason for that though Iz" Izzie stirred her drink "Yes the reason being I let him walk away because of an ass, a total ass. A guy who clearly couldn't care less about my feelings, is still totally immature, let alone emotionally retarded, cheated on me more than once, told me he never wanted to see me again and then bails on me again, when I ask him to have a drink with me for old times' sake.. Ahh what am I doing? Why is he doing this to me again? and now I've let Spencer walk off and go off to a strip club with McSteamy." Izzie knew she had done the right thing though, the old her would have had no problem flirting with Spencer all night to make herself feel better, but she was a bigger person now and however much she wanted to do that she knew it wasn't right, she was in love with someone else and she needed to be on her own tonight even if it hurt like hell.

Christina singled for the waiter to come back over before saying "He's evil spawn; you're in love with evil spawn." Meredith looked up defensively that was one of her closest friends they were bad mouthing. "Hey that happens to be my friend you're talking about, and he' not an ass! He's not perfect, but none of us are. If you really want the truth Izzie Alex hasn't been the same since you left. He was a mess for a long time and now he has been pretending he's moved on, but I know the truth I still see the deep sadness in his eyes, he hasn't moved on one bit. When you left it was as though a light went out in him. The day the divorce papers came through he was a broken man. I lived with him remember" Izzie's eyes widened she hadn't meant to bad mouth him, she really hadn't, but he had hurt her again big time. "Well he certainly didn't have any problem running to the nearest piece of ass for comfort, which happened to be your sister, who I didn't have down as a home wrecker by the way." She was expecting a 'takes one to know one' comment in return, but instead Meredith overlooked it. " Half-sister actually and I can't defend their behaviour I really can't, but he's Alex that's how he deals with things he's not a bad man, Lexie, she didn't mean anything, she was just someone that happened to be there at the right time to help him deal with the pain of losing you. You broke his heart when you walked out on him." Izzie couldn't exactly blame Meredith for taking his side; he'd probably been a much better friend to her than she had of late.

"Well on that note. I'm off to the ladies room." Christina said and slid off her bar stool to walk across the buzzing groups of people standing in the bar. Izzie turned to Meredith glad to have her alone. She paused and took a deep breath before saying "Mer there's some stuff I have to say" Meredith looked down at her drink. "No you don't. You don't have to say anything its fine." Izzie gulped "No it's not fine you need to hear this. When I left Seattle I said some stuff, some stuff that I didn't mean." Meredith looked back at her before saying clearly "I know." Izzie continued anyway, "but I need you to understand why. Why I needed to say those things, I needed to try and believe them in order to give me the courage to go and try and start again. But I thought about you all the time, all the time Mer, I missed you and I wanted to call I wanted to come back to Seattle to see you, especially after Christina told me everything that was happening, but it was just too painful, I couldn't do it."Meredith smiled with warmness in her face. "Izzie I know. It's fine." And with that gesture Izzie knew that Meredith had forgiven her. It was at that point that Christina came bounding back over again "What you bitches going about now?" Izzie laughed "What happened to you two?" Meredith laughed too "We grew up and got married" Christina raised her eyebrows "speak for yourself." Suddenly through the laughter Izzie felt immensely sad again, she'd almost forgotten for a moment in the midst of having a heart to heart with Meredith and winding Christina up the reasons she had been feeling so sad and alone earlier that evening. But then it hit her and once again it became painstakingly obvious that Alex wasn't there as she'd hoped, as she also realised this might be her last chance to speak to him, to hold him to tell him how she felt. She ran her hands through her long, golden curls. "Oh you guys got your happy ending? Where's mine?" She'd always pictured the future Meredith with Derrick, Christina with Owen and herself with Alex, how had it all gone so horribly wrong for her?

"Quit whining forget evil spawn and go off and find Mr 'Mc freeking Wonderful', too hot for words plastics guy, screw his brains out and ride off in to the sunset" Izzie knew she could count on Christina for some comforting words. Meredith was more sympathetic "Christina" she shot her over a disapproving look. "You know you could try and talk to Alex again Iz, I mean really talk, make him listen. You clearly both need closure if nothing else." Izzie paused and sipped the remainder of her cocktail before biting into the perfect round cherry on top of the stirrer. "Nah you know what Christina is right. That ship has sailed. I've moved on, this is just nostalgia talking. I've had a few drinks and I'm pining after something that's never going to happen. It's in the past we've hurt each other too much already, I guess some things just aren't meant to be. Alex was right we can't go back. I don't know what I was thinking….." She went to continue talking, when Meredith suddenly gestured to interrupt her and Izzie noticed a subtle surprised change in the facial expressions of both Meredith and Christina. They were looking over towards the bar entrance behind her, causing Izzzie to turn around too and there he was, she couldn't hide the look of shock on her beautiful face as she was just in time to see Alex walking up behind her, his hair slightly ruffled and shirt and tie slightly looser than earlier, but looking more handsome than ever. "Hey" he said awkwardly.

_If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me..._


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_"I have waited my whole life for you and if I had to wait another lifetime for us to have a second chance I'd wait. Until that day comes, I'll be by your side supporting and loving you with all of my heart."_

As Alex walked slowly across the bar, he felt certain as soon as he spotted her sat with her back to him, that he had made the right decision. He could see her sitting over by the window, her long blonde hair falling seductively down her back as she was deep in conversation with his two colleagues Meredith and Christina. His heart fluttered slightly as he recognized that it definitely was Izzie. Torres had been right she wasn't with her new, or whatever he was to her, boyfriend, he was no-where to be seen it was just the three of them sat there at the long perfectly crafted bar, the bright city lights behind them.

Should he be here, he thought to himself, he had thought of nothing else for the past hour or so after his heated discussion with Torres. Her brutally honest words had been going round and round in his head, as back in his hotel room he had laid back on his large king size bed, sinking in to the crisp white throw over, his hands behind his head, suit jacket off and chilled beer, freshly opened from the mini bar, sat on the bedside table. Everything that Torres had said had struck a chord and rang true with him, Izzie was alive and he did love her, and he may have just been provided with a second chance. So did anything else really matter? Flicking on some mindless trash on the huge flat screen television, it had suddenly dawned on him he knew exactly what he had to do, he had known all along, he had made his decision the very minute he had first laid eyes on her earlier that evening, when she had taken him completely by surprise and had looked so bright and perfect. He had decided then that he would do whatever he could to get her to come back to him. All this procrastinating and putting obstacles in the way was just his fear, he knew exactly where he should be and there was no doubt about it. There was no way he could just go back to his life in Seattle now and act like nothing had happened.

With those thoughts firmly in his head, he approached the three glamorous women, catching Meredith's eye briefly before quickly looking away as Izzie turned around. She looked like an angel, more beautiful than ever he thought as he awkwardly mumbled "Hey" looking straight at her. Her face lit up "Alex you changed your mind" she said, unable to hide the sheer delight shining through in her eyes although her mouth wasn't quite smiling. He went to say something in reply, but before he actually had a chance to say anything, by complete chance Owen Hunt and Derrick Sheppard appeared out of no-where and joined the group, probably tired of the formalities of networking Alex thought. "Ladies, Karev" Sheppard said as he slid a protective arm around his young wife. Perfect timing Alex thought and he could sense Izzie felt the same way too as she smiled politely at them before standing up to give Owen her seat next to Christina, and turning her back to the group, who were already engaging in a heated discussion about corruption in the current hospital rating's system.

Izzie was now facing Alex, giving him her full attention. They could both feel themselves getting instantly turned on in each other's presence as the familiar sexual chemistry tingled around their bodies. Alex noticed Izzie's empty glass, so making small talk he offered to get her another drink gesturing for the waiter to come over, the tension between them was brewing unbearably as they waited to be served. "You want to go and sit down" he said as she nodded and they made their way over to a quiet corner of the bar with their drinks. It was Izzie that spoke first looking at Alex intently. "Alex I'm so glad you're here but I don't understand what happened earlier. Did I do something, say something?" Alex realised this wasn't going to be as straightforward as he'd first thought and he had no idea where to start.

"Izzie I'm not good at this okay, I've never been good at talking about feelings, but I'm sorry about earlier, I guess I just thought it was best if I went back to my room. I wasn't particularly up for seeing you all over your new hot shot LA boyfriend" Izzie sighed and rolled her eyes as he went on "But I realised that I couldn't just let you leave, not without seeing you again." He waited for a response from her as she said. "Ok so this is about Spence is it Alex? Well for your information we're friends, just friends. We were involved for a time" She stopped suddenly, flashes of the good times with Spencer running through her head. Before she was quickly snapped back in to reality, she was now facing Alex the man she loved more than life itself and the man that had utterly destroyed her when he had broken her heart two years previously, and as much as Spencer had pretty much been the perfect boyfriend for the entire course of their short relationship, she could never quite shake the niggling doubt she had, whether he would have stuck by her side through her whole battle with cancer, the aggressive chemo, the loss of her hair, her looks, her strength, she had actually wondered whether any man would have done that. Alex had though, without a blink of an eyelid, he had even married her and with that thought it made her love him even more as she looked over at him sat in front of her. She had longed for this conversation pretty much every day since she had left him so she carried on. "But it didn't work out with Spencer."

Alex felt a wave of jealous rage inside him at hearing her talk about Spencer, it made it real, Izzie had been involved with another man after he had told her to leave. "Didn't look like you were just friends earlier in the conference room" he snapped back at her. Izzie raised her voice slightly "Not that it's any of your business Alex, but Spencer has been a fantastic friend to me since I broke up with him, he taught me that I was worth knowing, worth loving and he helped me regain my confidence, become a doctor again and learn to live again What did you expect me to do? Go away and hide in my Mum's trailer for the rest of my life." Alex flashed her an angry glare, he didn't resent her new life and success but it had taken him completely by surprise.

"What was I supposed to do Alex? You told me to go, to leave you and never come back, you said that you never wanted to see me again. Did you expect me to come back begging for you to take me back, when you made it very clear that, that was the last thing you wanted." Listening to her speak Alex started to realise just how much he had hurt her, but that had never been his intention, ever. "Izzie" he said as he reached for her hand and she pulled it back. "I never meant to hurt you" he said gently. At this Izzie couldn't hide the inevitable flow of tears escaping slowly from her big chocolate eyes. "Well you did. You hurt me more than you could ever possibly imagine. When I walked out of that hospital after you told me to go, I might as well have been dead. I might as well have died in your arms up in that hospital room" Alex winced at the painful memory of that terrible day when he had nearly lost her for ever, before his stupid pride had sent her away from him anyway. "If it wasn't for Spencer and Christina I wouldn't be where I am today. I was broken! When I came back to you I thought you would understand, I thought you of all people would understand. I never for one moment thought we wouldn't be able to work through it when I came home and I sure as hell never dreamt you would have broken the vows you stood up and said on our wedding day and have slept with someone else" They were both silent then, Alex was lost for words as she carried on. "I didn't come back expecting it to be easy, but I thought you would have forgiven me for screwing up, after everything I'd forgiven you for, I was even willing to forgive you for sleeping with someone else. I know I screwed up. I shouldn't have taken off like that when I got fired, but I wasn't in any fit state of mind I was traumatised. I had nearly died, I had lost my best friend and you wouldn't talk to me and then I went and got fired from the one thing I had worked towards my whole life. Yes I should have stayed and spoken to you, I never should have blamed you, but I took everything out on the person I loved the most, you! Something that you of all people should be more than familiar with, and when I returned Alex, not only did I find you cold and unfeeling and unwilling to talk, I found that you had slept with someone else and it broke me" She looked down at her hands before saying quietly "It broke me."

Alex was trying to process everything she had just said and she was right when she put it like that he did sound like a total ass. There was no excuse for cheating and he should have tried to see things from her point of view more, he should have fought for their marriage more, but as much as that might be the case, he couldn't help but still feel some anger and resentment towards her. There were things he wanted to say too, as he leaned forward in his chair to look at her. "I never should have slept with Lexie, Izzie, it was a big mistake and for that I'm truly sorry, but you broke me too. I sat by your side whilst you were dying of cancer. I married you and I meant every word of the vows I stood up and said on our wedding day. I might not have handled things perfectly, but did you ever stop to think about me, you completely took me for granted Izzie , you never considered how hard it was for me too!" His face flushed as he continued. "I was traumatised too you know" His voice started shaking slightly as he raised it "You freaking died in my arms Iz and then you walked out on me! After all those nights I held you and I told you that I wouldn't survive without you. You just walked out on me, you walked out on us. You might have felt broken when you came back, but you broke me too. You freaking broke me too!" Izzie's eyes were moist with tears as Alex continued, his brown eyes flashing the hurt and pain that he could no longer conceal. "I told you I wouldn't survive without you and guess what I'm not surviving without you….I mean I go through the motions I get up, I go to work and I'm on my way to becoming a decent surgeon with prospects. But you know what Iz" He leant in closer to her tear stained face. "None of it really means anything, not really. It doesn't mean anything without you by my side as we'd always planned. I might have told you to go off and be happy, but I thought you would have known me better than that, I thought you would have come back and fought for me, fought for us. You didn't even bother to call when I was shot and nearly died."

Izzie was shocked at that last comment and brushed her perfectly manicured hand over her pretty face. Alex needed to hear this. "Alex when you were shot I wanted to come back, more than anything, when Christina told me exactly what had happened to you I was ready to get straight on a plane to be with you. But she also told me you were with Lexie and it broke my heart. I couldn't come back to see that, see you moved on." A black look crossed his face. He should have known Yang would pull something like that. Izzie instantly read his mind. "Don't blame Christina Alex, she was just doing what she thought was right at the time, she just wanted me to move on and get over you and re-start my career." She hesitated there was something else she wanted to say. "Alex I need to know, apart from Lexie was there anyone else after I left?" She couldn't bear the thought that he could have loved anyone else after she'd gone, that he could have looked at anyone else the way he'd looked at her. Alex grimaced so Yang had managed to keep her mouth shut about something then. He looked down "There was someone, but not for long, and she was just a cheap replacement for you if I'm completely honest. I was trying to move on but it didn't work out." There was nothing but truth in those words. Dr Lucy Fields had just been a cheap replacement for Izzie. She was blonde, but not as pretty, not as bubbly, not as kind, her legs weren't as long, breasts not as big and every time they'd had sex, he'd compared every minute of it to him and Izzie and finally when Lucy had shown her true colours, he'd tossed her aside without a thought, he was just pissed at another failed attempt to move on.

This time it was Izzie that looked lost for words, she paused and after a short while said "I tried to call about the divorce. I left you so many messages, on your phone, at work, with Meredith. You never once returned any of them. What was I supposed to think, that you had no interest in speaking to me, that you'd moved on." Alex knew it was true he had refused to speak to her about the divorce, not returned any of her calls and only communicated over text with the briefest abrupt messages when absolutely necessary, but he hadn't meant to be an ass, it was just the only way he knew of to deal with the pain of losing her. That was also his excuse for cheating too and running to the nearest piece of ass for comfort, only it hadn't been a random piece of ass it had been sweet, kind, foolish Lexie, Meredith's half sister and Izzie's sort of friend and work colleague, he had properly screwed up there. He had tried to make it work with her, but it had become very clear to both himself and Lexie after he had been shot where his heart truly belonged. Izzie hadn't known that though he thought as she continued talking. "When you refused to speak to me Alex I started wondering if you'd really meant the things you'd said when we got married, or if you'd just said them because you thought I was going to die and that there was never actually a chance we would have to live together as husband and wife. Part of me thought that when I left I was doing you a favour, giving you an out, and when you took it..." She couldn't finish her sentence as she broke down in full tears. Alex couldn't believe what he was hearing, how she could possibly even think that, he'd loved her with everything he had in him, and he still did. He'd never felt that way before her and certainly not since. It broke his heart even more to see her cry like this. He looked at her, desperately searching for something to say.

Izzie dabbed at her tear stained eyes she pushed her drink away, she couldn't do this again, she stood up. "You know what Alex I can't do this, seeing you here dragging up the past it's too painful. I can't be that girl again. It nearly destroyed me last time. You know I'd never really realised what pain was until I lost you. I thought I'd had a broken heart before, losing Denny was awful, but nothing, not that, not losing George, nothing compared to the incredible unbearable pain I felt when I lost you. I loved you and I still do love you so much, you've always been the one. I'd always dreamt of us together husband and wife, with a nice house and a white picket fence, with loads of animals, kids and great careers as doctors together, with the passion between us never fading, you waking me up every time you got in after a long shift at the hospital to make love to me." There was nothing that Alex had wanted more for the future too he thought and he wanted to tell her that so desperately, but he saw she hadn't finished what she was saying. "I should have died that day but something stopped me, something stopped me from flying away and that something was you. You were the reason I came back. But it was bittersweet, because I'd survived and I'd come back, but I'd come back to a world without you." At that she bent down and kissed him on the cheek "Goodbye Alex".

As she went to rush towards the entrance Alex stood up, this wasn't happening again, he wouldn't let it happen again, he wouldn't let her leave him again. Not when he knew she loved him too. He hurried after her as the soft live music played a melancholy song, beautifully capturing the tone of the conversation that had just taken place between them. "Izzie" he called as he caught up with her, she had reached the elevator at the end of the corridor and was pressing the button. "Izzie stop, don't go" he said. "I've never been good at telling you how I feel, I've never seemed to find the words to tell you just how much I love you, but I do I love you, you're the only women I've ever loved…..and I love you because you make me wanna be better and because you always forgave me and because I always acted like an ass whenever anyone was around but you and because I chose you to scrub in on my first solo surgery and because….. you shaved your legs for me on our first date" Izzie stopped crying and a small laugh escaped from her lips. "You want me to go on?" he said. "There are so many reasons I love you, but mostly because even now two years after you left your still the one good thing that has ever happened to me and your still my possibility of something to live for and seeing you here now I know we can still be great together, it's not too late for us, your alive and we've got a second chance"

Izzie was still teary eyed, but at that mind blowing speech her entire her body language had changed, and as she gazed at the man she loved, he leant in and kissed her furiously and passionately, and time stood still for both of them. They were connected again and they felt it everywhere, as he caressed her face and drew her closer to him, they were back where they belonged, but where would it take them this time?

_"I don't know how you do it but you make me want to live forever!"_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**WARNING – This chapter is a little on the hot side in places, but necessary to the story I'll hope you'll agree! So read at your own risk, oh and enjoy.**

_Find __someone worth your tears, worth your laughter, worth your heart and that loves you as much as you love them._

"Don't leave me, don't ever leave me again" Alex whispered breathlessly in to Izzie's ear as he fumbled with the zip on the back of her cream dress. They had just about made it up to his hotel room and he had never felt as overjoyed as he had unlocked the door with one hand, the other one firmly wrapped around her as they frenziedly kissed, not wanting to miss a minute of each other, feeling their way in to his large luxurious hotel room.

"I'll never leave you" Izzie whispered passionately back to him, as she un-tucked his shirt and slid her hands underneath it, running them up and down his deliciously smooth skin, before clumsily undoing his tie, continuing the passionate embrace. Standing there with his shirt undone, exposing his perfectly toned abs Alex pushed Izzie back on the bed saying. "Do you know how often I have thought about this? ….every single night since you left." As he helped her struggle out of her dress and she clumsily discarded it on the floor. She had white lace underwear on and the very sight of it was setting Alex on fire as her long blonde hair fell seductively over her perfect breasts. No wonder she been an underwear model he thought to himself as he pulled his shirt off and threw it straight down on top of Izzie's dress. Izzie then fiddled with the buckle on the belt of his smart suit trousers, trembling with excitement, she had missed his body so much and she was extremely turned on, and she could visibly see the effect her body was having on Alex. She pushed his trousers and boxer shorts off, as he undid her bra with one swift movement, something he'd always been very good at, as he took in the full beauty of her amazing breasts. He slid his hands in to her lace panties feeling she was just as ready as he was, hell he had been ready from the first moment he had set eyes on her earlier that evening. Feeling his touch Izzie gasped out in pleasure this was what she had waited for, this was why she had waited for him. As he pulled himself on top of her it was obvious neither of them could wait a moment longer as he entered her and the feeling of ecstasy hit them, every nerve in their bodies throbbing for each other. It was perfect. I t was meant to be.

Izzie was woken to a familiar sound of shrill beeping, she opened her eyes and it hit her, she hadn't dreamt it, she was here with Alex, he had come back to her, they were together or had been last night at least, and he still hadn't changed that dam alarm she thought as she tried to bury her head further under the soft white pillow. She could have almost been back in Seattle at Meredith's house, she actually half expected to hear Meredith banging around and cursing outside their door, yelling at them to get their asses in gear or she would be leaving for work without them, just like old times Izzie thought. Then as if by magic she actually did hear Meredith's sweet feminine voice outside the door, knocking loudly saying, "Alex, Alex come on we have to check out, the cab will be here any second. Alex answer the door, you have to get on that flight!."

Izzie moaned she wanted to save every second of being here with the Alex, the man she had dreamt about and longed for the past two years, thinking there would never be a chance to tell him exactly how sorry she was for screwing up and how much she loved him. But last night somehow miraculously she had been provided with that chance, and she was savouring every minute of being here wrapped up in his strong muscular arms, her body completely fulfilled from their incredible night of passion, she didn't want to ever leave his huge bed. After the amazing sex, they had chatted for hours about anything and everything. It had got quite deep with Alex confessing how he thought about her when he lay dying after he had been shot and then about how he had, had to go back to Iowa as his brother was diagnosed as Schizophrenic and had tried to kill his sister. Izzie would never forgive herself she thought, for not being there on both occasions, not being by his side when he was shot, and also not being his wife by his side as he took the lonely drive back to Iowa to sort out his family. She had told him this too and he had replied saying that in a funny way she had been there, as he had thought about her the whole drive and imagined what she would be doing and saying if she had been there with him. The conversation had got a little lighter then as they laughed at Bailey and the Chief dancing the night before and then Alex had told her all about his cases in peds and she had given him a step by step account of her new life and job in LA. They spoke about the future too, Alex saying he had, had some interviews but wasn't quite sure where he was going to get offers although he felt certain Arizona wanted to keep him at Seattle Grace. Izzie still had a little while to go yet in her residency needing to make up the time she'd lost when she was sick, plus she was in an exciting phase working with Dr Hayes on his treatment of cancer patients. So they had agreed the logical conclusion would be for Alex to try and join her in LA as soon as possible. Izzie had gushed about it, the hospital her friends, co-workers, her apartment and the glorious sunshine plus she seemed pretty confident that she could call in some favours and get Alex an interview with Dr Hayes straight away and there would be no problem in him being given a position. Alex wanted nothing more than this, having already decided that he needed a change and to move away from Seattle for some months now anyway, plus he knew Izzie going back to Seattle would never be an option. But as enthusiastic as he was to Izzie he secretly didn't share her immense confidence that he would get a job at her hospital. He knew it was one of the best hospitals in the country and thought it would just be too good to be true. Good things just didn't happen to him; well they hadn't before last night anyway. .

Re-living every moment of the night before in her head, Izzie sighed as Meredith continued to bang on the door, she wasn't giving up. "Do you think she'll go away if we ignore her" she said sleepily as reality hit home, she felt Alex stirring next to her as he removed his strong arms and groaned. "Oh shit what time is it?." Jumping straight out of the bed and in to the bathroom, giving Izzie the perfect view of his amazing butt. Hmmm she thought as she sat up and stretched, she could quite happily have continued their activities from the night before, she could quite happily have stayed in bed with Alex all day, all week in fact. "Hang on" she shouted as she reluctantly got up, pulling the crisp white sheet around her as she stumbled towards the door and the increasingly louder banging, she just wanted it to stop, her head was thumping slightly anyway from one too many glasses of champagne and the delicious cocktails the night before. "Hang on" she said again as she opened the door just as Meredith was saying "Alex you are beyond useless, I can't believe I am stood here…." Stopping mid sentence lookinng at Izzie as she opened the door. Meredith looked great Izzie thought, a complete contrast to her wild hair and panda eyes as she stood facing her fresh as a daisy in a blue blouse and jeans her long hair neatly tied back, one hand on her suitcase the other banging furiously on Alex's door. "Iz" she said a look of shock flushing straight over her pretty face. "What are you doing here? Where's Alex?" Izzie smiled awkwardly pulling the sheet tighter around her, thinking it was more than obvious just what she was doing there. "Coming!" Alex said as he appeared out of nowhere, changed in to jeans and a brown top, he smelt amazing Izzie thought as he brushed past her, he must have quickly sprayed on some of his favourite aftershave. "Iz I've got to go now" he said as Meredith still stood looking at them.

Then as if things weren't awkward enough who should walk past the room, but Derrick Sheppard and Mark Sloan. Mcdreamy and McSteamy! They were both wearing casual trousers and polo shirts, sunglasses on head. Derrick was whistling, "Meredith come on cabs outside" He said as both men took in the comical scene in front of them, Meredith and Alex rushing to leave with Izzie stood at Alex's door wearing nothing but a thin sheet. "Karev, Izzie" Derrick said as though it was the most normal thing in the world as he turned to his wife "Meredith we have to go" Mark just walked on by with a knowing smirk. Great! Izzie thought, why did embarrassing things like this always have to happen to her?

"Alex I'll see you in the lobby" Meredith said as she turned to walk away. "No I'm coming now" he said to her before turning to Izzie "Iz" he leant in and kissed her as Meredith walked off " I have to go, I have to get on that plane. I need to get back to the hospital" Izzie looked disappointed this wasn't how she had pictured their romantic goodbyes last night, plus she couldn't bear the thought that Alex was about to get on a plane back to Seattle and she would be going back to LA too. Realistically where did they go from here? "I'll call you as soon as I land" he said. "No wait. Give me two minutes and I'll come with you" she said already back in the hotel room quickly putting her dress back on from the night before. "Don't leave without me. I'll see you downstairs" She wasn't taking no for an answer, she wasn't saying goodbye to Alex like this, not when she didn't know when she would see him again.

The airport was busy and crowded; there were groups of people everywhere, tourists, honeymooners business people, school children. Constant announcements were being made and numerous people were rushing to and from departure gates. As they looked around to check the flight times, both Alex and Izzie sighed silent breaths of relief that flight 102 to Seattle was delayed. They had made it, Izzie was changed in to some jeans and a tight black top and she had tied her hair in to a messy bun her blond fringe falling over her face. She had also hurriedly put on some lip gloss and mascara and ensured to spray on some of her favourite perfume. "Over there" Alex said as he spotted the familiar crowd of his work colleagues and friends milling around and sat slumped on a row of seats, he couldn't help but laugh to himself that both Baily and Torres looked a little worse for wear. As he reached them he thought how ironic it was that under two days ago he'd been in exactly the same situation at an airport back at Seattle but his mood completely different he had, had a stormy look on his face not wanting to attend another medical conference, whereas in complete contrast now he was on top of the world and the huge grin on his face reflected it spectacularly. Walking over hand in hand with Izzie they sat at the end of the row of seats, as he ran his hand across her face and brought her in to kiss him, he had no problem with public displays of affection where Izzie was concerned and he couldn't care less what any of them thought. "Oh get a room!" Christina exclaimed, her face like thunder, sat slouched on the chair next to them. She was wearing dark sunglasses with a coffee in her hand and a huge scowl on her face. "Ignore her" Owen Hunt said as he walked over and took the vacant chair on the other side of his wife. "Someone has a hangover." Christina pouted even more "I do not. I am just not in the mood for seeing bright and shiny at this time in the morning. I need to get back on that plane, and back to the hospital. I'm having withdrawal symptoms I need to get my hands back in a body."

Alex and Izzie were totally oblivious to what Christina was saying though as they were completely caught up in each other, kissing and staring in to each other's eyes. "When will I see you next?" Alex said. Izzie beamed back at him "As soon as you can, come down and visit. I can't wait for you to see my apartment and meet my friends. You'll looove it." Alex wanted nothing more than that too as he said. "I'll check my leave days as soon as I get back to the hospital later today." Although already knowing he had plenty, he had, had no reason to take leave, he had only ever taken any when he was with Izzie before, the only other reason being when he had to rush back to Iowa to commit his schizophrenic brother, something he'd rather not think about. "Well alright then" Izzie said smiling. Then they heard the sound they were both dreading the loud call for Alex's flight, firmly snapping them both out of their loved up bubble and back into harsh reality. Alex was about to fly back to Seattle, where it was grey, wet and miserable and he would be going home to an empty apartment and bed. But not for long he thought hopefully looking at the beautiful woman sat next to him.

It was last call and everyone else had gone through the departure gates as Alex hugged Izzie for the last time holding her closely to him as he smelt her hair, it was sweet and fresh just as it had always been. She had tears in her eyes as she said "I am going to miss you so much. Call as soon as you get back." and she kissed him long and hard, and with that tender embrace Alex felt for certain things would be different this time, he would make sure they were. He had got her back.

_Ignore__ the risk, and take the fall, if it's meant to be, it's worth it all._


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_You know, that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and that person. And you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. _

It was a wet, miserable and grey day in Seattle, but stepping out of the large busy hospital entrance, Alex had never felt happier as he felt the familiar vibration of his phone buzzing against his leg from where it sat in his jeans pocket. He reached down to pick it out with one hand, the other clumsily holding his bag over his head trying to shelter from the increasingly heavy rain fall. Quickly rushing back to where his car was parked, he opened the text and read it, it was Izzie!

'**I'm sat here in the gallery observing the coolest surgery, but all I can think about is you! I miss you so much. But in two days you'll be here! I can't wait to see you. Hope your shift's been ok? call me when you get home. I love you x'**

Just reading her text set Alex's heart on fire, he knew he'd call her the minute he got back to his apartment. He had been back from San Francisco for exactly four weeks now and every single day they had been texting, emailing, skyping and talking on the phone nonstop, any available moment they had, despite them both being incredibly busy doctors in leading surgical programmes. It was what got Alex through the day, the sweet knowledge that he wasn't alone anymore. He knew every morning he would wake to a bright text on his phone from her and then throughout the day they would be sending and receiving little messages back and forth, most of them mundane stuff about each other's days, but then they would end the day falling asleep after a long fulfilling conversation over the phone, it was just so good to hear her voice.

They had been counting down the days until Alex would be going down to LA to visit Izzie for three days. He had been given the time off reluctantly by his mentor Arizona Robbins, who had made no secret of her displeasure at him leaving at short notice, she would do anything she could to keep him in her department Alex thought, but as flattered and fond of her as he was he had to try and get a placement at Izzie's hospital in LA, he couldn't bear being apart from her. Now that they had found their way back to each other, living in different cities just wasn't an option. Luckily she had already secured him an interview with her boss Dr Hayes who also happened to be acting chief of surgery down there. Alex was nervous as hell, but also incredibly excited and hopeful for his future with Izzie. He just wasn't sure if he would be able to make it through another busy shift at the hospital and another two more days before he could get on that plane to be with her.

Two days later as he stepped off the plane at LAX airport all thoughts off the dreary rain, Arizona's mood swings and the stressful surgeries back in Seattle had left him as the heat instantly hit him, it was like a blanket of warmth wrapping itself around him and all he could think about was Izzie. He had thought about seeing her again every waking moment since they had spent that amazing night together back in San Francisco. He wanted to hold her, kiss her and laugh with her again, and knowing she felt the same way too meant that moment simply couldn't come around soon enough. Inside the airport he spotted her immediately, she was the picture of loveliness, wearing little denim shorts showing off her long toned, tanned legs, together with a floaty white top, her blonde hair loosely tied up with her fringe felling seductively over her big brown eyes.

"Alex" she cried out as soon as she saw him walking towards her, still looking as dark and handsome as ever and not having lost that bad boy edge that had always made her go so weak at the knees. "You're here" she said with tears in her eyes as she rushed towards him. "Iz I've missed you so much" he said as he put his large bag down and hugged her, picking her up slightly from the floor, and for a moment they were completely lost in each other, as they kissed passionately. They had both missed each other so much that past month after deciding to give things another go. Izzie hugged him tightly as she felt his strong muscular arms wrapped firmly around her and she took in every second of his heavenly manly scent. When they eventually did come up for air they couldn't take their eyes off each other, as they made their way over to Izzie's car hand in hand.

It was a glorious sunny day, the golden rays beaming down on them both, complimenting their ecstatic moods perfectly as they reached Izzie's car a convertible 4x4. Alex was impressed but couldn't help but wonder just how she could afford it, they must pay well down here he thought to himself. It was as though Izzie had read his thoughts and as he slid in to the passage seat, and she got behind the wheel putting her large dark sunglasses on she turned to him and said. "I got an advance on the book deal. It wasn't much, but enough to get a half decent car for once."

As they made their way back to her apartment, Izzie was doing most of the talking giving Alex a step by step account of her life, her friends and co-workers, the hospital and her apartment. "I'm not far from the beach and there is the cutest coffee shop on my street. Your just gonna loooove it here Alex…" she babbled on beaming. "Once you see my apartment, it's perfect. I've even baked some cookies for you." Driving down the big wide roads, past rows of palm trees and the smell of the ocean. Alex knew he would love it here, how could he not? he was with the woman he loved, not a care in the world and the sun was shining. However he couldn't help but think Izzie was getting ahead of herself a little bit and being a little too optimistic, talking as though it was a done deal, he hadn't even met her boss yet, which he was very apprehensive about and he was certainly a long way away from receiving an offer, they shouldn't be cracking open the champagne just yet. He couldn't help but feel that something would have to go wrong soon to burst their bubble, but that was Alex, he was always glass half empty, whereas Izzie was always glass half full.

As Izzie opened the door to her apartment, Alex couldn't help but think how wonderful and inviting it was, it instantly hit him how light and airy the whole place was, such a contrast to his dark, messy and un kept apartment in Seattle that he had been forced to move in to when he had left Meredith's. The smell in Izzie's apartment was delicious, an aroma of fresh floral and citrus together with a waft of just baked cookies. The apartment wasn't huge but it was cosy, modern and beautifully decorated, the walls were white with a couple of big colourful art prints. There was an open plan kitchen diner with a light wooden table and chairs leading on to a living room, with large soft cream sofas and bright turquoise scatter cushions. As well as a glass side table with big colourful dried flowers and a selection of white candles, next to a couple of photo frames, one was Izzie with her Mum and the other was her with a blonde girl about the same age, that Alex didn't recognise. There was also a small balcony and light white chiffon curtains hung neatly at either side of the large french doors leading on to it. "What do you think" Izzie said sliding her sunglasses on to her forehead. Alex put his bag down taking it all in, it was so perfect, it was so Izzie.

They had planned to go out for a walk on the beach and then out for lunch, but as Izzie walked in to the kitchen to open the fridge and get some drinks, Alex followed her in wrapping his arms around her back and spinning her round to him as he kissed her neck. He couldn't help himself, he had waited all month for this moment and he pushed her with furious passion against the kitchen work top his lips meeting hers, locking them in to a deep sensuous kiss as he lifted her up to sit on top of the work top and she swiftly pulled her hair out of its messy up do, letting her long blonde curls fall down seductively over her chest as Alex slid his hands under her white top, pressing his body in to hers. The spark between them more on fire than ever, the sheer intensity of their love and passion spurring them on, it was just the two of them now, a new start, no arguments at work, no dead fiancés, no cancer, no sleeping with nurses, no trailers in the woods and no running away. This was a new beginning and they were both loving every single minute of it. "I love you" Izzie whispered to Alex.

Izzie thought she would never look at her worktop in the same way again as with a sly smile on her pretty face, she held Alex trembling in the kitchen, hardly believing the incredible sex they had just had in there, their discarded clothes lying all over the floor. "Wow" she said to Alex. "That was just amazing." Alex stroked her fringe over her face. "Iz it always is with you" he said softly as he helped her down from the work top.

After they had changed they eventually got out in to the blazing sunshine and after a short walk found themselves sat outside a cute little bar with cold beers. "I'm taking you out for dinner tonight" Izzie said to Alex. "Shouldn't I be saying that to you" he said laughing. "Well okay then you can take me out for dinner. I know the best place. Oh and then tomorrow. You have to meet some of my friends Ellie and Lincoln they are the best, they both work at the hospital too." Alex really wasn't too bothered about meeting any of her friends as he wanted her all to himself, but if it made her happy he would gladly be polite, and hopefully he would be moving here soon anyway too.

The evening was just as special as the day had been, the only slight downer being a text from Arizona about one of Alex's major cases. He felt bad, but then Izzie had, had to remind him that he never took leave days or vacations and was owed them, so Alex had tried to put it to the back of his mind as nothing was going to spoil his few days with her. Izzie had changed in to a stunning little black dress for the evening, she couldn't really afford it, but had bought it in the spur of the moment especially for Alex's visit. She did have some designer dresses, but they were mostly ones that Spencer had bought her and therefore weren't entirely appropriate she had thought. When Alex had first laid eyes on her as he sat waiting for her on her balcony, he was taken aback, the dress fitted her perfectly, clinging to her curves in all the right places and she was wearing her hair down exactly how he had always liked it.

The restaurant they went to was overlooking the ocean and was romantic and intimate without being too flash and over the top. They had enjoyed three course's and sparkling wine, laughing and discussing their lives together, but as lovely as the food and atmosphere had been they were both secretly longing to get back to Izzie's apartment and tear each other's clothes off again, and with each brush of skin, or meeting of eyes the chemistry and desire was taken up a gear and by the time the cheque arrived they were more than ready to rush out the door. As they made love over and over again that night it was of a different pace to the fiercely passionate sex that had taken place in Izzie's kitchen earlier that day, when they had been so desperate for each other, this time they were just as desperate, but it was slower and more intimate and loving as they were completely wrapped up in each other in Izzie's big soft white bed, staring in to each other's eyes as Alex told her just how much he loved her.

The next day Alex awoke to soft beams of warming sunlight streaming through the blinds and giving the bedroom an inviting glow. He leaned over to find the bed empty and was instantly hit with an appetising waft of bacon and pancakes, his favourite he thought as he sat up, stretched and threw on some shorts, making his way in to Izzie's bright kitchen. "Morning" she said with a big smile. She was wearing little black shorts and a tight black vest, with her hair up in a ponytail. "I've just been for a short run along the beach and now I've made you your favourite pancakes. I didn't forget." Alex smiled he had never felt so at home as he sat down at her table and she poured him some freshly squeezed orange juice. The breakfast was perfect but it became quite apparent straight afterwards that Alex was more than hungry for something else too, Izzie's little black running shorts and low cut vest were driving him crazy as they both stood up and he pushed her towards the bedroom.

They blissfully stayed in bed together until mid-afternoon, when then were interrupted by some loud banging at the door and a female voice calling out "Izzie" This made Izzie quickly jump up and throw on a little blue and white dress, tying her hair up as she made her way towards the door. "It's my friend Ellie" she said and Alex took the hint to get up too. Just in time to see Izzie opening the door to a skinny girl about the same height as her with long straight blonde hair and a pretty face, Alex instantly recognised her as the girl Izzie was with in her photo frame. "Ellie Hey. Come in and meet Alex." Ellie went to say something to Izzie, before instantly turning to Alex and smiling, "So your Alex huh. Pleased to meet you finally. I was in San Francisco but we weren't introduced. I have heard so much about you." She turned back to Izzie "Hmm you weren't wrong about him Iz." Alex was just about to ask, exactly what that was supposed to mean when Ellie bounded over to the big white sofa, sinking in to it before saying loudly "I have had the most frustrating morning" and sighing. Alex looked at her slightly amused with a confused expression on his face. Izzie laughed "Oh don't mind her Alex she used to live here, she never quite moved out." Ellie sighed again "I did used to live here until I moved in with my useless boyfriend JB, oh Izzie you will never guess what he's just done." Izzie looked over at Alex, this was her life now so he would have to get used to it. Ellie was her best friend down here and the two were so alike, although at times Ellie did have an uncanny resemblance to her old friend Meredith Grey, just little things she said and did and that she thought was probably why she had warmed to her so much straight away. "Ellie and JB are both residents at the hospital so hopefully you'll be working together soon" Izzie said happily. Ellie sat up grinning at Alex "That's right, it's going to be great." Alex suddenly felt a surge of panic coming over him what if he didn't get an offer when Izzie was so sure, she would be devastated, they both would be, he didn't need the pressure of her telling all her friends it was a done deal. "It's not definite yet." He said to them both. "Oh ignore him. So tell me what's JB done now?"Izzie said and with that invitation Ellie launched in to the whole story of her petty argument with her boyfriend. Alex wasn't really interested and switched off it was like being back at Meredith's he thought to himself as he tried to mentally prepare for his interview the next day, battling erotic thoughts of him and Izzie out of his mind.

"Oh I thought she would never leave." Izzie said as she sat back down on the sofa next to Alex after Ellie had left. "She seemed pretty cool, is she the new Meredith Grey" Alex said and laughed grabbing Izzie's hand, and pulling her towards him. He was about to kiss her when his phone vibrated, he was going to ignore it nothing could be more important than being here with Izzie, but something compelled him to check it. It was Arizona:

**Alex we need you back at the hospital now!**

_When I'm with you, everything else just fades away It's not about keeping your promises, it's about following your heart._


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**_I've been searching for that someone my whole life, to show me the way, to take my hand and tell me that everything will be okay; I've been searching for that someone, and now I know it's true, I've found that special someone, I've found that someone in you_**

Pagers were going off, doctors were yelling, nurses were rushing from cubical to cubical. Anxious relatives paced the waiting rooms, whilst patients were wheeled and stretchered down the sterile bright white corridors. It was the familiar chaos of hospital life Alex was so used to as he made his way hurriedly to the nearest elevator, a piece of paper clutched firmly in his hand. It was paper confirming the details for his meeting with Dr Peter Hayes, Izzie's boss and the man who would be able to decide his fate on whether he could move down here and start working at this crazy hospital. The hospital was slightly bigger and busier than Seattle Grace had been. The signs were unfamiliar, the corridors wider and the scrubs a pale green in contrast to the blue ones he had become so used to. But despite the alien environment Alex couldn't help but think it would make a refreshing change. He had made the decision last night to stay in LA and attend the meeting despite an urgent message from his mentor Arizona Robbins requesting him back in Seattle. He wasn't sure what could have been so important, so he had called her to find out that one of his cases, a desperately sick child had needed live saving surgery. He would have done anything to have been there but he knew that Arizona could handle it on her own, and he didn't appreciate the emotional blackmail, so much to her annoyance he had made the decision to catch his scheduled flight later that evening after his meeting.

He had kissed Izzie goodbye earlier that morning after a quick coffee together in the canteen as she had wished him good luck, before making her way off to start early morning rounds, it had been slightly surreal seeing her as a doctor again, that image of Izzie had been from a completely different era, him having worked apart from her for so long now. But thinking of nothing but her as he carried on walking across the bustling hospital floor he couldn't help but feel completely certain he had made the right decision.

As he knocked on the large door of Dr Hayes office, Alex felt slightly apprehensive again, his secretary had been super friendly and told Alex to 'just go right on in' which had put him at ease slightly but now he felt a rush of nerves. As he sat down in a comfortable leather chair directly opposite Dr Hayes over his wide mahogany desk, he couldn't help but think he was exactly as he had remembered him to be back at the medical conference when he had first met him. He was very handsome and charismatic and he instantly put Alex at ease, the initial conversation centering around Alex's time at Seattle Grace. Dr Hayes was very impressed at Alex's track record there and the work he had done. He then took a different tact and started firing more personal questions at Alex. Why he was interested in Ped's?, it didn't strike him as an obvious choice for him. Alex felt he could answer this confidently he had come to realise over the past two years that paediatrics was where his talents and more importantly his heart lay, particularly helping kids who had no-one to fight for them, ones where he saw a little bit of himself in them and plus he was just a natural, there was no disputing that fact, everyone back at Seattle Grace had been extremely impressed. It had though taken him by surprise though when he had first found a gift for it after Izzie had left.

Dr Hayes then went on to question Alex on his background, why he had wanted to be a doctor in the first place, how he had he funded his education and his family background. Alex felt his cheeks flush at these questions, he didn't come from some well- connected family, or a long line of successful doctors, if that was what Dr Hayes wanted to hear, he would be very disappointed. In fact as Alex sat looking at the man in front of him with his expensive suit, dazzling smile and flashy air conditioned office, he wondered whether the hospital was really for him after all, if these were the types of people they attracted. He also couldn't help but compare Dr Peter Hayes to the down to earth chief of surgery at Seattle Grace Dr Richard Webber. He had never once asked Alex about his background and never judged him for anything. But Alex swallowed and looked Dr Hayes directly in the eye as he cleared his throat, remembering he was doing this to be with Izzie, as he boldly told him sparing no detail, all about his background, how he had beaten the odds and fought every step of the way to become a doctor, how he had to get a scholarship to medical school through his wrestling and despite having to look after his down and out family growing up, he had always known he wanted more for himself and his future and now he was finally on his way to becoming a surgeon nothing was going to hold him back. As he spoke he became more and more passionate and confident as he finished with "and that sir is why I wanted to go in to medicine". He looked over at the older man for a reaction, but found him leaning back slightly in his chair looking at Alex taking in every word but not giving anything back, his face expressionless. Alex suddenly felt uneasy he had obviously said the wrong thing, how would he be able to explain to Izzie that he had let her down and stuffed up at the first hurdle.

After what seemed like a lifetime, Dr Hayes spoke again. "As I understand Dr Karev you were involved with Dr Stevens back in Seattle when she first became sick. How did this affect you? Being a doctor yourself you must have taken a different perspective on it?" Alex shifted uncomfortably in his seat and suddenly felt a pang of anger mixed with slight nausea at such a direct, personal question. It was totally unexpected and he had to really fight himself hard not to just get up and storm out of the office. This was a subject he wouldn't want to discuss with his closest friends let alone a complete stranger. He twisted his hands together, the truth being that her illness had been the most devastating thing to ever happen to him, even given that he'd had a pretty crappy life up until then too, but somehow he had learnt how to deal with that. He had been very good at surviving and building up walls around him. Then when he'd allowed himself to fall in love with Izzie the walls had come down, he'd been truly happy for the first time in his life. So happy that he'd not noticed when she was sick, something he'd never forgive himself for. When he thought he would lose her he broke down and even though he did lose her eventually anyway by his own doing, he had never fully recovered from it. With these thoughts floating round his head he looked up as he searched for the right words. "It was a very difficult time. I was younger then, I admit I didn't handle it as well as I could have done, but I handled it the only way that I knew how. I stood by her and married her on her death bed and when she nearly died in my arms it changed me. I'd see people every day going through incredible unbearable pain, they'd get terrible life changing news, sometimes I'd have to give them that news, tell them their world was about to end. But if I 'm completely honest it didn't really mean anything it was just my job. I mean I made all the right noises and followed my training as best as possible, tried to show compassion. But experiencing it for myself, thinking the love of my life was going to die, my whole world was going to come crashing down around me, that changed me forever, humbled me, and despite what happened with me and Izzie I mean Dr Stevens, that has made me a far superior doctor."

This time Dr Hayes did look impressed as his eyes were focused on Alex following every word he was saying, and the tone of the meeting changed dramaticaly. As Alex stopped speaking Dr Hayes clasped his hands together and took a deep breath before looking Alex straight in the eye again and saying firmly. "Well Dr Karev I don't think there will be anything else. It has been good to finally meet you. Dr Stevens has told me so much about you I feel as though I already know you and I am pleased to say you haven't disappointed me, every word she said was spot on. So I am very pleased to say the position is yours if you want it. I think you'll fit in just great here. I need to just get your letters of recommendation one from Dr Addison Montgomery and the other from Dr Arizona Robbins and then I would also like you to stay and have a trial first, just make sure you gel well with the rest of the department and Dr Luther. He heads the paediatrics department up, but I think you'll get on just fine with him. We'll catch up after and if all okay I'll have my secretary draft up an offer for you, welcome to the team Dr Karev" He stood and extended his hand, Alex was overwhelmed it couldn't be that straightforward, could it?. "Seriously" he said to Dr Hayes. As the older man's face warmed and he said with complete sincerity in his voice "I'm not usually impressed Dr Karev, but hearing your story and then meeting you and hearing you speak, seeing what you've achieved despite the odds stacked against you I'm impressed. This meeting was just a formality Dr Karev I wanted to meet you in person, but the position was always yours."

Alex felt on top of the world as he changed in to the green scrubs and went to meet Dr Luther. Izzie had been right the position had been his all along. Dr Luther was a tall dark haired guy around forty, he was very friendly, but seemed busy. Alex was to shadow Dr Lincoln Bishop a resident in paediatrics the day went well but quickly.

Later that day Izzie was walking extremely quickly through the busy hospital as she rushed past groups of people milling around. Why does everyone get in your way when you're in a rush she thought to herself as she broke in to a run, she didn't care about hospital rules she needed to see Alex before he got on the flight back to Seattle. She needed to find out how his meeting had gone. Although she had nothing but absolute faith that he would secure a position at the hospital she needed to hear him say it for it to be real. As she rushed out of the hospital entrance nearly knocking over a man with a bunch of flowers in the process, she spotted him stood leaning against the wall. "Alex" she said breathlessly "How did it go? I got here as quickly as I could. I've literally only got two minutes spare." He looked at her his facial expression not giving anything away at all. Before breaking in to a sly smile as his voice shook with emotion "I got it Iz, I got it. I start as soon as they have my letters of recommendation" They were both practically in tears as she hugged him. This was right, this was meant to be. "Don't go back tonight, stay with me tonight, go back in the morning" she said her eyes pleading with him. "We can go and celebrate" Alex knew what he had to do when he got back to Seattle wouldn't be pleasant, he would have to say goodbye and leave the place he had called home for the last nearly eight years. It would be painful whatever so what difference would a day make. "Okay" he said as he kissed her. Izzie grinned "Give me an hour to finish up then I'll be off duty for the night. I love you" She said before walking back in to the hospital, looking back to give him one last emotional glance.

That night lying in bed facing Izzie Alex felt truly happy, for the first time ever it felt as though his life was finally changing for the better. As she traced the small scar on his chest left from his gunshot wound with her fingers, she looked in to his eyes. "I always took you for granted. Before back in Seattle I took you for granted. I didn't love you the way you deserved. It was partly because of the cancer and the hurt of you cheating, but really there was no excuse and I'm sorry". Alex stroked her hair "Iz you don't have to…." She stopped him. "Yes Alex I do, because I need you to know I will never take you for granted ever again. It's different this time I'll never lose you again. I'll love you forever." Alex drew her face in to his as he whispered "I'll love you forever too."

A month later as Alex turned in to Izzie's road he could smell the ocean as the beams of sun reflected magically on his windscreen, the birds were singing and despite the mammoth tiring drive down from Seattle he felt full of energy and excitement. All the stress and emotion of tying things up in Seattle the past couple of weeks was rapidly leaving his body as he realised he was finally here, he had done it, he had moved to be with the love of his life and he had a fantastic position in a top rated hospital too.

It hadn't been easy, the chief had been fine, understanding, but disappointed saying he respected Alex's decision and was impressed he was joining a fine hospital, adding he wished Alex and Izzie all the best for their future together too, before saying whilst he was still chief there would always be a job open for him at Seattle Grace if he ever wanted it. Meredith and Christina had both been supportive too, but a little emotional that he was abandoning them and Christina was a little jealous that he had landed such a good position saying to him. "Just don't screw things up this time. I saved her life remember, make sure you don't make it suck." Meredith had asked if he was sure he was doing the right thing and then said she was really happy for him, but would really miss having him around, before finally adding "I always had a feeling you and Izzie would find your way back to each other Alex." Arizona had been a different story altogether though, he had expected her to be angry, to shout, maybe even give him a speech about not being led astray by his ex-wife and how much she could teach him under her wing in Seattle. But he wasn't expecting full on tears which is exactly what he was met with "Don't go Alex" she said. "Please don't go. Everything is going wrong and I need you here." She had then refused to write his letter of recommendation before storming off. This had taken Alex completely by surprise and he therefore had had no idea how to react, settling with consoling himself with a final beer at Joes. When to his surprise Arizona had marched in shortly afterwards and sat down next to him. "Can I buy you a drink" she had said her eyes completely dry from the tears earlier. "I'm really sorry about earlier Alex, I'd had a shitty day and I took it out on you. You didn't deserve that. I'm being selfish I know I am. You of all people deserve happiness and I know how long you've loved Izzie, this is right you need to go and be with her. I know that. Plus Dr Luther is a shit hot world renown peds surgeon you will learn a lot from him. You're going to be great Alex, you'll be a rock star." He looked at her the relief showing in his brown eyes, as she held out a brown envelope. "Here you go, one letter of recommendation." Alex smiled warmly "thanks" he said as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. She smiled back at him "Oh and just one last thing, don't be a stranger Karev".

With that sweet lasting memory of Seattle in hs head, feeling happy and content with the way he had left, Alex parked up outside Izzie's apartment, glancing in to his rear view mirror he could just about make out through the jam packed boxes containing all his worldly possessions, a figure running towards him. As he stepped out of the car he saw her more clearly, it was Izzie bounding towards him wearing a short white dress, showing off her golden suntan perfectly her long blonde hair streaming out behind her, as he moved towards her she leapt in to his arms "You're here" she said, the look of sheer joy shining through in her face. As Alex held her close to him, he thought finally – today's the day my life really begins.

_**The road to true love was never easy, I know I've hit all the bumps, but now I'm standing strong saying, I love you, 'til the end of time**_


End file.
